Monday, September 21, 2009

A busy route

The lights made the society look majestic. People were havin a good time it seemed. They were busy.
I took a good look at the basketball court. Some fond memories we share. I still remember the great barb-finishing games we played here. Our four years of young sweat was subsumed somewhere and everywhere.. pretty much all over the place..deep below, perhaps still in patches.

As I moved on, I saw a couple of guys sitting on a park-bench. There was a girl too. A little older than the two blokes. She was talking. Now I usually avoid any sort of a staring glance or even an eye-contact for the matter, at or with the bodies moving round me (for reasons not relevant). Plus I'm not very fond of eavesdropping either. But the girl was pretty. So I ended up doing both.
"..None of these. Love is not defined.. you need to make the girl feel special about the bond you both share!"

Oh yeah!.. The only time I come across those terms is while solving a CAT question these days.

I smiled my way back. The whole of it. It had nothing to do with the great wise words, but the scenario, the flock, the moon. I felt my way a few months back, when we guys used to sit in a circle and chat all night long. Talk our heart out. Never exhausted. Laughing all the way untill all of a sudden, we realize it's too late and one might just miss their last local. The quad sessions are always the best date you can have.

It's not too hard to figure out why all of a sudden a lot has changed this semester. People have realized it's time to get things in order. Everyone's busy. Too busy. Honestly,I'm not really enjoying my time in this cave. But then I do know it's a phase that needs to be tolerated. And eventually we shall wave it a goodbye. I feel this lamp still has what it takes to last a little longer. I only hope it doesn't flutter out just like that. I wish we do it with a bang!
It's just this time. I intend to respect it and allow it to be consumed.

I actually had no desire to write down anything today( hence forgive me, or rather bless me..for the short length;-) and the untidy flow) Its just that no one else really does , what got me down to this.

I took the same route while coming back. I observed the lights were down a bit. It was a little late. Surprisingly the clan hadn't left the place. The teens were still there, joined by another one. The girl was still talking. I wondered why a bunch of restless teenagers would be so interested in listening to such stuff. Hmmm..maybe the philosophy was doing them good..maybe they are disciplined followers of the wise...Or maybe.. their unusually good looking teacher, was worth the preaching.
I suspect I knew the answer. And it wasn't a none of the above this time.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Beneath the skin

I was spitting venom today. Seriously evil. The poor female on the other side of the phone line was looking for her head I probably blew off the previous minute. Shot after the other, she kept the conversation rolling, pretty much all over her, and very much in the hope that the nice guy she was used to on this number would kick a snigger the next moment and say.."Aha! Fooled you".
Bad. Wasn't gonna happen today. Searching back though, I think she was simply doing her job, the call centre was paying her for. Sell the internet, be it a fire breathing monster.
I think about that day, and another few where I've let my carnivore whip blow out.. and the only similarity in most of the occassions, has been the fact that I wasn't a physical witness to the pounding and stomping I was delivering. There was always a safe, and a convinient wall between me and this other person feasting on fire. A smart cellphone kept me 10 digits away from them. That's huge. Big. This wall was allowing me to throw cannon balls at will and happily so. I felt better venting out my weekly accumulated frustration. Cheap. But then I wished they call up again the next week. Cheaper!

So what makes me so bold?.. I feel superior to my limits, stronger, adventurous, and a hardy of all my enterprising sorts. Maybe because I'm naturally introvert, and some odd moments bring out the not so me. Or perhaps I am that courageous hunk and all that. Or well maybe..and more importantly.. I'm hidden, a significant part of the from the heart talk , but with no face..I'm anonymous!
So what is it about a you can't see me conversation that merrily chokes off the shy guy, and brings out a person wearing a champion skin?!
I realize the reasoning is simple. Yes I might come up with a certain seed to the paramount, which might be different to what one may believe. But then it's eventually a version of many thoughts. The one word feeling which i propose for this behaviour is 'safe'. Whether it's that of being a customer, where you're the more important person, always, or a written piece where you have the luxury to play with your vocabulary. You are absolutely safe and well guarded. Because you're not there! No one can bloody do anything about your verbal and written actions, and you can get away happily without claiming responsibility for them. Tell me if you disagree.
The so very often similar events time and again raise a few questions though, to which I haven't found constant answers.
Is it right?
Isn't it spineless, cowardly?
Doesn't it have an uncomfortable air to it, which may lead to some unpleasant consequences?
I, like you, have my opinions, but none converging enough to stick out my finger and hold it against a specific answer to either of the questions. The tools of a writer or a speaker has a lot to do with the writer/speaker himself. A nameless, faceless has none of these prosaic tools. With a medium so promising and assuring, one can easily understand the weight of the freedom that comes along with having no identity. Certain people think it's completely unfair, and the act simply exposes a shaky personality. Could you balme them? A person might just extract more than that's acceptable at times. An unjustified use of the liberty one may call it. A simple example would be that of an anonymous 'let's kick some truth ass' blogger!
But then again at times, it could by all means, be the best way to sort out things, to give it a pleasant feel. We could list elections as a supportive instance.
Personally too .. I've always felt I've been more social and frank through my writing, or formal communication. I can honestly confess, I've found it a lot easier to communicate with a few people through texts or social sites. Much so, that I now realize a few of these people have recieved more messages from me, through my cell phone than me speaking out. Abnormal?..Well actually pretty confident of finding a clan, I think people can be super whacko on messangers and mobiles.. and equally crass in front. A few of you might save me blushes accepting the belief:D..
Anyhow, all of that quickly changes once you're back in your skin, and leave it exposing it to the person in front of you. You don't feel all that safe anymore. The super-powers suddenly vanish, and you're back to misery. My text friends would surely understand what I mean here.

So.. with my failed attempts at coming down to the point where I can call the idea of being anonymous right or wrong, I decided it's best left for interpretations and personal opinions. I feel it's got the most of it to do with one's intentions. It's in good ranks till it's meant to be on the right side of the spirit. But then again..some things just don't have a sealing verdict to them do they?
Lady: Hello sir, a very good afternoon to you.
Me(hidden & Happy): Hi.
Lady: Well sir, you sound relaxed today. Is this a good time?
Me(hidden & proud): Feeling better. Say..thanks for the connection set-up.
Lady: You're most welcome sir. Glad to be at your service. By the way, we have a new scheme..
Me(hidden & smart): Oh hey.. maybe some other time. Gotta rush. Have a flight to London!!..

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Elements of footprints

Forever is a very long time. So when my friend suggested a near about week long nature hike, my mind was sniffing that forever. Sooner or later, this marathon like week of slow sleeping, open calls, and mosquito romancing was gonna put locks to all my hopes of even giving it a thought.
I was standing, staring outside my window trying to recall the happy moments that surfaced in the recent eventless season. Nothing. Marooned, I punched the keys of my mobile-pad, a little excited about a raw plan I'd made during the exams. I had counted 10. Expected 6. Royally rewarded with 12 confirmations, I was happily surprised.

The plan was simple. A trek. A lot shorter version of what a few of my other friends had already planned. The twenty-twenty glitz of course, with theTests heading museums.

Honestly, given a general space, I could go on talking melody about the most evident beauty, the spring routes, teasing root holds, and the obvious thrill. But what really fascinates me on such occasions is the up-close interaction, and the colourful perceptions framed around these attributes. My understanding to a good day is kindergarten. Good friends, a good open-hearted talk, and some nice food to go along with it:D. It's also a fair oppertunity to get to know people better, and meet new ones. A void if you're keeping yourself in a box. So yes, a great oppertunity to declare the real you to your friends as well. 12 hours, and your opinions about certain things, perception on certain individuals is up for a toss. For good?..absolutely! And I talk prominently for people like me, who make assumptions, prefer keeping things to themselves, personal, and are a push to talk type. Where slow and steady is the key to a perfect recipe: Sugar spice, and everything nice:D.. Well, this is where it gets relishing all the more.

Now there are these funny little elements as I put 'em, which some way or the other become an absolute dose when you're out, spending some good informal time with the people you know, or you think you do. It's imperative, and a blessing for all you know. Silly games, stupid jokes, singing ridiculously infamous songs, remembering rather under the carpet events..some nice but most, embarassing. It's basically a span of happy hour god gives you to let yourself loose, no holds bar. These are the 'ICE BREAKERS'!..why, for a simple reason.. you make your interaction transparent, much so that you feel relieved and clean as air once you're back home.
You feel great, and why not. You'll learn that, to stay happy is not merely packing a smile on your face, but to make it evident, and impart the same on others. This of course after you've dealt with some serious weeds within, who says it's that easy to look happy anyways?!.. Well..a give away..thorns to living up these kodak moments are ironically within us, surfacing at will, fading when it wants, or if it even does. The obvious question is what they could be?.. my best guess..anything you do, that jolts a concerned look on everyones faces, and pulls up queries you have no answer to. It's indifferent to me on whatsoever occassion though. For good or bad, I honestly don't know. Personally, my best attempt to resolve any doubts is pretty today-like. A text. So the next day when a friend asks.."Hey why so formal?..All gentleman, SMS stuff?".. My response is nothing short of a puppy-face snarl. It's something I just don't know how to answer. Let's just say it's a straight-simple-silly way of coveying a genuine gratitude to the company I was a part of, and indirectly apologizing for any kind of mess I caused in their minds through my unexplainable acts, with all due respect to my random mood-swings, and glum look putting many to worry!
Anyways, trekking back to the down trail.. an additional advice is always to carry something back down with you. Could be a rock, flower, wooden stick, not an animal or an insect though, their life is way too short to cry over our misery, but anything else..something that you conviniently passed over, stepped on, or maybe even something your friend hit you with. I say this simply because(hang on, here comes the senti part) once time sways by and through, the only evidence you can feel is gonna be in your hand, and not on your desktop. Because where your camera will glue your eyes, this lifeless stick will moist them. Your choice of the venue is most irrelevant in such a case. Unknowingly but somehow, the company supersedes the motions around you. Hmmm.. a little too much eh.. well nevermind, let's just trust my instincts and believe we'll understand it better 10 years from now.

So.. buckle up. Fasten your backpacks, and race up one such trip .. You shall realize what starts off as a journey to feast on the nature's charm, indispensably becomes an unplugged memory to cherish with the nature as a mere catalyst.
Either ways, you shall have an amazing day..

Sunday, April 26, 2009

A Looser!

100th time. Or is it over? Yes gotta be. I love my sundays. And I love this channel for making my sundays go worth. I wanted to do this for a long time now. And pretty much fresh in my mind with what I want to talk about, I think it's about time I finally do.
This is a story.. A very realistic spin of a youth, underdog who saw both ends of the universe if there existed any. It's a story with a brilliant colour of human emotions, desires, self-realization and a gallon of spirit to overcome odds. More than anything else, it has a paint of reality throughout. A great fiction model to compare your life with.
The story is reeled, and starts with four notorious, and very close friends Ghote, Anjali, Maksood and our hero Sanju. The reckless but happy go lucky bunch showcase how a school life should truly be lived. Free, careless, spoilt, a pain in the back and the seed of all troubles..!!

They reflect a sense of innocence with their tickling acts and flaunt their 'look we have wings' attitude on whoever dared to tie up their laces. Sanju thought no one ever understood them. Not even their parents. He thought the world despised them, but didn't really care.Why should he?..He knew he was gonna make it big someday. He knew there was a great future but simply wanted to enjoy till then.
The circus was a season. And so while others claimed merit in academics, & brought laurels to their institution.. the cooler lot bunked, ate junk, and smoked all day, least bothered of shrugging off the tag of a 'Looser' off their sleeves.
The resemblance is uncanny..but then that's what most of the God-fathers and legends on books would tell you, how they started. It's a mere coincidence yes, but that's not my point.

Go on.. it's building up to something I promise.

Our lead has a sibling. A champion in his field. Good looking. A 'liked by all' fellow.. and mattering most of which..the seed of what brought a bitter taste to Sanjay's life. Like in most obvious cases.. a shade of competitive comparision was spilled on him. He loved his brother but hated the measuring eyes that stole the colours of his hair. He felt the pinch of partial treatment whether it was money, material, status or respect.

It's true when they say the world is a mirror, and it doesn't take long for one to realize what reflects is what you are. You respect the world, it reflects the same..You laughs right back!
What we miss to realize at times though is the fact that the person in the mirror is none else but us. Complaining can never help.. We respect ourselves.. and it's a start.
But our little fellow here doesn't understand that yet. He's a teen afterall.. a teen who has friends, loves having fun, secretly smokes, laughs, feels jealous, and falls in love..

Oh?!.. I din't mention that earlier did I? ..Hmmm...

The story shows innocent little Sanju turn pink and hearts for a girl of his dreams. A superb plot covering the true shades of a teenager, who always believes that all the damsels around feed their time to only those who wear gold, and drive cars. And well so it happens that our clever bloke turns green and goggles, and with a bit of help from his friends... Viola!!.. Mr.millionaire successfully decieves the lady in red to fall for him.
It's just that morning spring touch that makes this teenage version of love so delicate. You remember your school days and recall the number of times you thought you're switching to dreams during day..and you'll know what I'm talking about. Anyhow.. it unfortunately turns out that the girl comes to know of the puppet show(though a khabri, another common teenage phenomenon) and plots a revenge against the cheater kiddo.
Sanju was taught a lesson.. and worse...was now heart-broken..
The clobbered spirit didn't get better..and he was dismissed by his father, and verbally crushed by his elder champion brother. It was not the best time for Sanju, and the first to notice this was his close friend..Anjali. Another point where I think the leaf turns up to show how you're true friends are always there to catch your fall..and how the doors of a new start keep opening for you..

Anjali, a poor next door girl secretly liked Sanju. Hmmm..the only part where I thought it got a little bit too filmy;)..and it was now time for this reality to hatch and blossom.


As someone has rightly quoted.. All of a sudden, when something goes right for you..better pinch yourself to make sure you aren't dreaming. Our kid wasn't born with a lucky feather..and the fall continued in his life when his dear brother met with an accident. This was the point in Sanjay's life where he realized that it was now his time to put on the gloves. Life was demanding, and he could finally see that.

With a bleak foundation and a resolute attitude, our circle star stepped out to face the sun. All his play pleasure had crashed in a few days. A lot earlier than he had imagined. But he knew it was coming, and he knew this was it.
Guys this ain't an entertainment preview. Nor has it to do anything with a senti build-up. The idea was simply to share this very interesting tale of a young, looser-labelled boy, who throughout his life, did hardly anything right to please his family. His acts were never constructive, and the only thing he brought home was trouble. This bit is dedicated to all those people out there who believe there share in their work-dom is black and white. It's to those who think they run on the darker side of the line that divides rich from poor, good from bad, beautiful form ugly. It's to all the self..(or not) proclaimed 'loosers' in a bright community.

A wise voice will tell you.. life is not a let the winning part be left for those who think it is. Winning is relative, and one can customize the standards to which he wants to compete for. You be the one who decides the race, and you decide if you've won it.

Let's make it a little more clear..

In the story, Sanjay's family wanted him to win the race. Anjali, who loved him the most wanted him to win his family back..But as for Sanju..he wanted to win everything he never had in the past. To him, it was his family..his friends..his pride... and respect.

So it's not just about a medal, or a cup..or even a race for the matter. Life goes happily beyond that. A person may be a champion throughout his life, but still a loner at no different time. Give him a friend..and he'll say he has won!

So....the next time when you see that reckless, irresponsible, and a good for nothing guy, laughing away to glory with no bloody sense of what's right and what's not.. remind yourself..

He's probably the one who'd help you when your friends back-off..
You might be the one who makes the circuit diagrams..but he's the one who colours them..
He is the one who sets up sparks in your static life..

He is the one who adds to the flavour and pulls up a breeze in a not so lively square..

And hey...never forget..he's also the one who has that Sanju inside him, sleeping...waiting for that flare to blaze his eyes open someday..and for all you know..he might be the one next in race with you!
So friends...walk on...And yes..if you think you're one of those 'loosers' we're talking about..carry it up your sleeve with utmost pride, and let that chin lead you.. Enjoy. Enjoy every bit of what you have. Cherish what you do, and what bit you achieve. Life is short, too short. Who knows..that Sanju in you......might just wake up today!!.....

Friday, April 3, 2009

The ReSuLT..

**I couldn't resist..I ran back..grabbed a page, and poured my memory on it..
* Click on the picture for a better view:)
5 Minutes back...
" Is baar serious lagta hai yaar"...
" Confirmed news hai.."
" A, B, aur C ko bhi sms aaya.."
" D top maara.."
After a month long wait, and a rumour packed summer, it was finally the day!
The result was finally out and people were smashing their their teeth to swallow. I could see the swarm of heated up human bodies burst through the door, ignoring a highly potential stampede. I, being a proud member of the looser clan( Go sanket:D), took my hibernation time, yawned, flexed my rusty muscles and strolled down, simply to witness what I would call one of the most amazing sights that only an engineering life could show me...

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Love scrapps

SUBJECT: Synopsis Nirmaan 2007


How often do we wake up in the middle of a night discovering spirit foaming in desires..
The desire to get back to the world of mist which suddenly seems the only place closest to heaven..
That for you my LOVE!
It’s a hollow feeling they say… it hurts but not a plague…its worse if you ask one. For all it seems eternity is staring right through you.
Desire is a far-fetch, when a divine fantasy rules your thoughts.. and the soul starts taking the burden of guilt~…..
But why the remorse?!?..i mean true they claim poets are born at teens…its just the time when this sensational torment of fascination gets the better of ones control over self-senses & even LIFE in every sense of the word!!..
Long forgotten is ‘yesterday’..and even though god permits no more than what mother earth solicits for…the earth, all of a sudden seems million light years away.. and you’re all back face to face with the guilt of making that magic feeling a part of your life..
Complicated as it may sound… one's theory on this exquisite gift of cupid is always gonna fall short of its true meaning.

EXPECTED: Complete attendance of NIRMAAN 07’



Said that however…a FAIRYTALE can never bestow an explanation on what a love-struck victim could endure to suspend the grief…
Out of tons of these fictional opinions… what comes closest to an apt guidance is ‘EXPERIENCE’. This experience my friends can put you through all your regrets and remorse.
Against most odds… we are blessed to get a chance to witness two of the most prominent love-gurus who have lived through all that we can put together from our meager lives..
SANT-ANKIT SHAH & GURU-GURTEJ SINGH CHANDOK offer to make a presence, and enlighten the love-struck ones with their experiences and nobel opinion on this never-understood idea of truth.
Spreading his idea on love…Guru Ankit Shah comes from a rich history of relationships and is now a BIG shot professional in his field.
Accompanying him, and to pump in the notion of how to attract a gender(same and opposite alike) Guru-Gurtej comes from being an engineer-turned LUV-GURU…graduating from ‘The college of luvingeering” in the field of luvology!!
Skipping the 2 hr very special workshop would not be the wisest choice by any means…
So do join in… which promises to be the most sensational & breath-taking event in the HISTORY of NIRMAAN!!

Eventhough I can't recall the exact written date of this article, I figure it was somewhere around the middle of semester 1. Some of us guys decided to step it straight up in our very first experience with the college fest, and spread the noble thought of love:D.. Another couple further decided that it made perfect sense to send it as a synopsis because it made absolutely no sense to anyone, not even me. Let the literature kill the IEEE..Ha!
Obviously the synopsis wasn't approved, but we learnt the committee read it and headed for the himalayas. Hmmm..bad one:D. Anyways it turned out, the events were supposed to be technical, and the Head of Events suggested we pour it during the cultural fest SPACE. No kidding..
We were all shattered of course, but our endeavour was bookmarked forever. NIRMAAN was cursed now( dare challenge the messengers of love ).
It's just a matter of time now I tell you, when the murderers of love realize their disastrous deals. A matter of time, when our efforts would be recognized, and the zombies in love, in their pink pyjamas would rise, and hail the gurus, who shall shower their cupid on this pathetic world and make it a better and beautiful place to live.
PS : I got this article from the earliest posts in our class community on orkut. Do go through yours. Highly recommended:). And like in most cases, it was our very own Sanket Godbole who advised me to put it up. Thanking him..

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

rOck the cave-man

Note: This blog was written in a non-drunk, still groggy condition late at night. Random, unplanned and an intended filler for I haven't updated since long. However turned out quite directional. Please excuse the errors whatsoever. And I'm serious.
An anonymous philosopher once said "idolize the crazy men in love, and you shall seek a celestial reform". Jimmy Hendrix, Kurt Cobain, Steve Vai declared their frenzied philosophies to the world through their frantic actions, or their suicide notes. They were completely in Love with the essence of Music. The only difference between them and others being that..Music Loved them back. May be that's why no-one ever understood their meaning to life.
It was the 2nd day of our college fest. After a pretty decent, point non-profitable day, it was finally time for the evening jam. Boy I was waiting for this. Two bands. Fancy lasers. A huge crowd... Time to woo-hoo!
I could sense a majority around me. There was a mess of civilization everywhere. People trying to prove their wisdom and sensibilities wrong. Hey cave-man! us..aha! It's not easy to please our crowd mind you. They don't crack our skulls mad, we boo their asses off our property! Simple. They play some crazy super-rock, shoot the roof off, make us jump, fly, head-bang... doesn't matter, we still boo them away to glory. Ha! beat that cave-man!
The crowd was going crazy I could feel. In all high spirits to bang the music men to shame. Plus of course the fact that the set-up took 30 mins of our miserable life meant, the first song bloody well make it to the Oscars.
They didn't disappoint. A Goldspot, followed by a Hoobastank number. Nice. The court seemed happy, so they were good to breathe. The fame doesn't last for too long, here in SP though. They make sure of it. And hence soon enough, the warm all-open-fingers gesture, greeting 'bravo' made way for the longest, screaming 'shut the hell up!!'
The language is simple to understand when you're an entertainer. The public makes it so. These are basics. And by the looks of it, the kick off band were good with their basics. It was time to pack.
The interim void was soon coated with the 'my dept rocks' and 'your dept sucks' slogans. The cave-men were ridiculed again. Another civil war. Meanwhile, the new band armed themselves and took positions. Only a short delay. I wanted to congratulate them, but was wishing for the same post show.
The lasers slipped. Lights sunk. I almost sensed a ding! Going thrice. I felt like the undertaker's opponent!
A laser tore through the pyro and highlighted the guitarist's equipment. I was keyed-up and watched eagerly, as the lanky blue fellow slid a plectrum across his axe, with one hand. And made magic with the other on the frets. The warriors facing them were interrupted by the acquaintance to the tune. Eventhough I wasn't familiar with it, the reaction made it pretty obvious that the song was a hit. Plus it was a bollywood one, and I haven't been following too many of those these days. The band was an instant success. What followed their first profound performance was an exhibition of some really good crowd-winning stirs. Everything was going merry for them. Right songs, right music, no fumbles, no mess...Simply put..It was their day!
It's strange. Unknowingly perhaps, but some incidents trip you to fetch a thought. As the band revelled, the fluids in me declared their empire everywhere within. I could feel what the long haired, stylishly equipped fawkes were feeling that very moment. Tonight, they were all celabrities. But with a sound memory, they shall always be. I felt a hundred million pinches. A war was hooted in me. Elan! It was working!
Everyone of us fancies a blue-streak moment in our lives. As kids, each one of us wanted to be a rockstar and imagined ourselves singing, playing our favourite numbers to thousands in the dark. Flair the sky, bless the audience, make them go crazy, amongst an animated cry for your name, or your band's. I strive to feed that kid in me. Each live performance, each concert pumps up that desire in me, to ride on that void.
I love music, like most of the people around. But feeding my ears with headphones somehow doesn't appeal to my appetite for it. For this very reason perhaps, I've always dreamt of that night. The night when I'd jam right through till the sunrise, with my band, or alone, soothing millions of exhausted souls, soothing myself, from where I can see it all. No, I'm not gonna be a professional, but then I can't let my hitherto nurtured dream melt away. I realize my short-comings, unlike a few lucky ones blessed with a divine talent in music. But I plan to challenge it. Challenge the cave-man in me. My desire for it shall take it on.
A pro-ideology is always welcome in such a case. However I never sport or accept a corrupt thought against it. For instance, my heart felt for the inaugural band that night. It always does when I see a musical bunch being booed. They could've struck the right chord somewhere else, or on some other night. But then I realize the bitter fact today. That's how a band works. It's all about everything going right. Going right that night. That moment. I also figured out, that it's unpredictable nature actually adds to the flavour of the feedback. You get it right with the audience, you get a happy yell, else a middle.
Have my way, I'd love a band. A band with people I know have the same adulation for music, and the band itself. Sneak. And to be honest, my hunt for this design ain't a prospect. I've kind of worked a few notches up. My effort for this goes 2 years back, and to share, I've been assured by a few who see us 'few' playing together sometime from now. The belief has to wait. Held. Unrattled...hmmm who says it's that simple to form a band?!.. Oh but of course.. I believe them:)
I can hear the cheer..the resounding echoes in a heart-thumping rythm. I can feel a cold drop of sweat roll down my neck. The grip on my guitar is loosening. F**k this sweat! The noise gets louder as my friends and me approach the centre of the universe. Wait. Are they screaming for us?!..yes!..yes they are yes. Come on! I'm ready. Yeah! This is happening. The World is gonna listen to us tonight! It's our night. We are gOd tonight! I can feel it!.. F**k you cave-man!

Monday, January 26, 2009

Kashmakash hai..talaash hai

A long road, a clear sky, a stallion spirit. The clock shows 10 minutes to 6, so it's about time. An imposing aircraft clears an arc, and lines up to face the horizon. There's a pause. Final checks with the flips, multi-engines, screwjack, pumps and the beast is unhooked to roar at will. The engines gear up. Make it evident to the lives around. Time. The wheels start making revolutions and try to keep the motion unruffled, soft... Louder!..Faster!..boasting!..feels god like!..

It was in class XI, just after the boards, when I was first acquainted to the engineering pool. Owe it to my friends. A week, and I was aware of all the related exams, subjects to crack, classes, and books to help at that. Dear ones said medical, Mom said engineering, dad kept quiet, sis was doing the same, so it kind of sorted out the options unchallenged. Engineering, Throughout my meagre life, Intestines, dead meats never fascinated me, so the option was pretty much in my face. "You have anything else in your mind son?"..."I like sports dad..Love Basketball...Cricket keep me up, Tennis is fun..and of course first love..ummm..but it's luck there, don't trust mine..engineeringfor me I guess"..
They say it's a new life post school. Seasoned Experts.
Do I believe in them?.. Of course not.
Are they right?.. mmm..occasionally perhaps.
Ahem?.... Okay they were this time.
The first sem was a usual 'slum slang slog' one.
Second sem..I was advised to be patient. It worked. I was soon sick.
The third made it clear why I was sick. Engineering wasn't for me.

My interests and skills were never compatible with the profession I opted for I realized(which i suppose would be the case with many others). I don't despise the electronic world, but it makes me think whether my life can be more useful some place else. I am a rat here, not keen of the race, and looking for a hole to seek an empire of likes.
Three years into engineering, and my belief gets stronger as I type. So what now? I simply decamp the professional route I came down to, through what, a process of elimination, 3 years back?..Do I still have the time and the skill to quick hunt my dreams?..and still personally..Do I regret the morning I told my dad 'I want to become an engineer!'?
Three years. And as my faith holds it's ground. My intelligence runs down my decisions. Today I confess, it was a wrong start. But I also believe, my skills and desires can outrun my follies. Still. For something, they crave and struggle to air like never before.
I never regret entering the circuit world. For a smiley, it has unknowingly given me a foundation. Critical, and a blessing in disguise i feel. It simply cushions my error for the future. If my choice of career falters from here, I can safely fall back to my foundation. My certified degree. Engineering.
My,(and probably even your) dreams may not seek spiritual blessings, but they are beyond the horizon today. The road could be rough, but so shall be our ways... sounds simple ha?..
1. Snap!..pinch!scream!..shrug off your sugaries. Remember, you're running to mend your aspiraions real. Be careful. You cultivate a blind folded vision, and the fall shall be yours. The world no is no longer about smiles, candies and fantasies. Our maturity should reflect our decisions. There's just one pick now on. One shot. Be realistic with your plans. Whether it's cricket or astronomy, Acting or gaming. Be a 'know it all' of your abilities. Ask yourself, twice, thrice, and more till you convince the person on the mirror, that your capabilities can meet your goals.
2. Even if I'm following a dream, the route has to be practical, and well planned. Make a thorough research of what you plan to stand for. This, a lot before you start off. An advice would be to get familar with the term 'Thorough' from a dictionary. We are no longer the cool 'dudes & dudettes'...snap out of it! unfortunately wanders beyond the college compound. Make the internet & libraries useful. The approach has to be mapped. Well planned. Saturate yourself with the deepest of information you can collect regarding your dream-fort. This may include approaching the pro's in the field, face talk. Scratch harder.
3. Remember, it's a slow process. Your choice of route could be mine-fed. Take it on. Sleep with it. Remind yourself, that Your life lies way beyond the enigma. It's most important to keep the focus fresh. Look though the sacks, there'll be a silver streak. Drive the energy and spirit from it. Yes it's slender, but a source nevertheless. Mid-way is most dangerous. When you're tired after a round, run another. Don't look back, don't give up.
4. Nothing comes easily on your plate. We have to give our best at what we do. Our endeavour will come at a cost. Physically less, emotionally more. Personally, I'd say the only solution to the latter is 'family support'(Or your loved ones). They'll be the pillars of your ambitious marathon. The 'catalyst' as I call it. Share your dreams, success and failures with them. It'll be like a..say 'heat-sink'.(excuse me for the technical term, but as I said, I don't regret engineering, does help at times).
5. As engineers, we have made it a habbit to build a network and share our knowledge where it's always between 'you, me and a hundred others!!'..Of course it helps socialising, and making midnight phone friends, but consider if you need any for the matter. A personal advice would be... Keep your things confined to yourself. I believe at times it works best that way.

Success, money, and fame comes with immense hardwork, and with a dynamic taste to it. If I'm not a very power hungry person, and if I don't relish lucrative bank accounts, the idea of hence escaping the rat race would make perfect sense for me, or even otherwise. The point is, the world demands the best out of us, everytime we step out of our doors. If I am doing something, somewhere, which can never meet the life I dream to live, a time shall come when I'll give up. Not literally, but my intensity will dawn, and that would show. I can't put my heart and soul to my work, and the accumulated discontent and unsatisfaction will saturate my growth there on. This way, I'm unjust to my work, people involved, and being selfcentric.. my talents.
Solution?..there's just one. RUN!! won't know till you go. There's no mantra. There's no magic. Our aspirations seek a physical character. Our abilities, our expertise remain unchallenged. Show them a vent. Blast them out. Three years. I don't regret my decisions. But I shall after three years, if I don't do it now..
A long road, a clear sky, a stallion spirit. Look through the horizon. Gear up. Unhook the beast. Roar. Make it evident to the lives around. Now we write a script of our flight of life. It's time. Flap your wings. away where your dreams live.. Louder!..Faster!..boasting!..feel like God!..

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Jingle all the way

It's December! A festive time for most part of the world. Christmas!..and that followed by the new year!..Except that the season has a completely different meaning if you're a part of the "Esteemed" Mumbai University!.. There is something about these months though. The world is happy around you, bright, colourful, while you feel black & white.
Just over a week left now. A couple of exams remaining, and you haven't touched them because your friends haven't.."Dude..masti time..forget studying for a while!"..But it's been a while since that. So You clean up the study place, clear the spider-webs, and fish out for your books. The effort is natural, but demanding. You need to push studies back it's way into the schedule. The syllabus is sea vast, and with multiple subjects at hand, time management is the first and the biggest challenge. With a lot of courage, and a hanumaan chalisa placed gracefully on your table, you dive in. An hour passes by, and your text book is already decorated with dots, stars, and tick marks.Doubts!..Anyways so you take a deep breathe, collect some courage and continue. A few more punches on the face and a blackout! Okay so you're pretty much on the rocks.
You feel the heat, look at the watch, slap yourself then look at the calendar(you're loosing it). 7 days, good atleast your maths section still works.Tension creeps in. You're loosing hair. Fast. You wish santa was here. It's basically a situation we engineers push ourselves into, pretty much every sem.'s Okay. But the fact that despite so, each time the same problem looks bigger and worse is what is not OKAY!..It's freaky! and what more, it affects your thinking haywire. You think you're lagging, and wonder how the others are doing?..Or are they done already?.. eeks!..
You have nothing to loose, So you decide to ask. Now "who to call?"..hmmm..a ranker maybe. Good student..good advice. <tring tring> ...exams make you looney..and it's christmas time happy time:D
"Hey dude wassup? kiddin' right? No re haven't even started..yea maybe in a couple of days..yea okeey-dokeey buddy!..ciao!"
Yayyy Heyyy!..well taste that!..Time to rumble.. You throw your books back at the spiders! Switch on the computer..spend a good day with your Orkutting, Facebooking, Blogging, Youtubing. Whoa that was a relief. Soon enough though, after yuo've satisfied your heart n soul with your do's and antics, you realize you've lost a day. You crash back into your books. A meagre study session, and you feel disgusted for it's time for bed. You call it a day, a bad one, and hit the bed with a determined script for the next day. A promise, a sleepless night.
The new day again follows with cleaning of books, juggling of subjects, time management, and.. phone calls!
"Hey man..dyuuud you started already?...We have 7 more days dude..take a chill pill..Not starting today atleast..yo cya!
'There you go..and to imagine I was loosing pounds for nothing. He's right I should take a break.' And with the wonderful piece of advice, and your very clever 'I deserve a break' thought, you head out. A day playing your favourite sport, hanging out at good places, window shopping. you come back home, spend a little more time in front of computer,TV, listen to some music..because you deserve it ofcourse.
Panic, nervewreck,'ve messed it up again. The calendar is not erratic though. Another day fades off, and a few more, don't stop counting. More promises,many sleepless nights but only to give way to a reduntant one the next morning.The only thing that's consistent in your life at the moment is your inconsistency and an irrational decision making process. That ofcourse helped with the words from the other side of the line like..
"salle tu start kiya?..NERD!!"
"Pagal hai kya?..abhi se kya?"
"yaar mood hi nahi hai start karne ka"
" dude I'll think about it tomorrow" and the most killer one...
"Dude it's christmas, Enjoy!"
Yeah well ho ho ho to you my friend..santa baby aint giving my papers..So feel reckless, and wanna kick yourself. More than anything else you blame others for misleading you, for not telling what they should've. You feel decieved!
Well it's been long years, and from what I've figured out, studying, like it or not is an experience, that shows you the turmoil nature of oneself, and how we accept things we want to.. And this may not necessarily mean just for this. I'm talking about a bigger picutre here..your life.The point is that putting a finger on something or someone is way too easy. I wouldn't find myself in the deep pit had I used my own brains in the first place. And as for the 'advisors'..lets just say I've made it a point I'd strictly be sticking to a couple of people I think I can trust. Never mind asking everyone. But stick to just the ones you find accountable for that matter, for all it's the best way if you believe in synchronised studying.
Having said that though, Why one should and would want to keep the studying habbit and hours a little 'secret' is what baffles me. Mmm..well maybe its their way of working, and suits them..or perhaps they don't wanna scare others with their studying schedule...say "did 5 chapters today!"..and a long pause on the other side indicating the caller will regret calling you!lol could be anything, of which a research is most welcome.
Anyways what leaves a mark of the whole issue is the fact that you are standing on your legs, and will fall on your face. It's your life and ultimately there's no jingle at the end of the road if you wanna live otherwise. So even after you see the humurous side of the whole matter, the habbit of the secret keepers will continue well into the exam day..
"Fatt gayi..lagne waali hai!"
"10 mein se 6 hi kiye yaar"
"sab hawaa mein hai!"
"bhagwaan bharose!"...and here's my favourite one...
"READ maara yaaaaaarrrrrrrr!!"