Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Beneath the skin

I was spitting venom today. Seriously evil. The poor female on the other side of the phone line was looking for her head I probably blew off the previous minute. Shot after the other, she kept the conversation rolling, pretty much all over her, and very much in the hope that the nice guy she was used to on this number would kick a snigger the next moment and say.."Aha! Fooled you".
Bad. Wasn't gonna happen today. Searching back though, I think she was simply doing her job, the call centre was paying her for. Sell the internet, be it a fire breathing monster.
I think about that day, and another few where I've let my carnivore whip blow out.. and the only similarity in most of the occassions, has been the fact that I wasn't a physical witness to the pounding and stomping I was delivering. There was always a safe, and a convinient wall between me and this other person feasting on fire. A smart cellphone kept me 10 digits away from them. That's huge. Big. This wall was allowing me to throw cannon balls at will and happily so. I felt better venting out my weekly accumulated frustration. Cheap. But then I wished they call up again the next week. Cheaper!

So what makes me so bold?.. I feel superior to my limits, stronger, adventurous, and a hardy of all my enterprising sorts. Maybe because I'm naturally introvert, and some odd moments bring out the not so me. Or perhaps I am that courageous hunk and all that. Or well maybe..and more importantly.. I'm hidden, a significant part of the from the heart talk , but with no face..I'm anonymous!
So what is it about a you can't see me conversation that merrily chokes off the shy guy, and brings out a person wearing a champion skin?!
I realize the reasoning is simple. Yes I might come up with a certain seed to the paramount, which might be different to what one may believe. But then it's eventually a version of many thoughts. The one word feeling which i propose for this behaviour is 'safe'. Whether it's that of being a customer, where you're the more important person, always, or a written piece where you have the luxury to play with your vocabulary. You are absolutely safe and well guarded. Because you're not there! No one can bloody do anything about your verbal and written actions, and you can get away happily without claiming responsibility for them. Tell me if you disagree.
The so very often similar events time and again raise a few questions though, to which I haven't found constant answers.
Is it right?
Isn't it spineless, cowardly?
Doesn't it have an uncomfortable air to it, which may lead to some unpleasant consequences?
I, like you, have my opinions, but none converging enough to stick out my finger and hold it against a specific answer to either of the questions. The tools of a writer or a speaker has a lot to do with the writer/speaker himself. A nameless, faceless has none of these prosaic tools. With a medium so promising and assuring, one can easily understand the weight of the freedom that comes along with having no identity. Certain people think it's completely unfair, and the act simply exposes a shaky personality. Could you balme them? A person might just extract more than that's acceptable at times. An unjustified use of the liberty one may call it. A simple example would be that of an anonymous 'let's kick some truth ass' blogger!
But then again at times, it could by all means, be the best way to sort out things, to give it a pleasant feel. We could list elections as a supportive instance.
Personally too .. I've always felt I've been more social and frank through my writing, or formal communication. I can honestly confess, I've found it a lot easier to communicate with a few people through texts or social sites. Much so, that I now realize a few of these people have recieved more messages from me, through my cell phone than me speaking out. Abnormal?..Well actually pretty confident of finding a clan, I think people can be super whacko on messangers and mobiles.. and equally crass in front. A few of you might save me blushes accepting the belief:D..
Anyhow, all of that quickly changes once you're back in your skin, and leave it exposing it to the person in front of you. You don't feel all that safe anymore. The super-powers suddenly vanish, and you're back to misery. My text friends would surely understand what I mean here.

So.. with my failed attempts at coming down to the point where I can call the idea of being anonymous right or wrong, I decided it's best left for interpretations and personal opinions. I feel it's got the most of it to do with one's intentions. It's in good ranks till it's meant to be on the right side of the spirit. But then again..some things just don't have a sealing verdict to them do they?
Lady: Hello sir, a very good afternoon to you.
Me(hidden & Happy): Hi.
Lady: Well sir, you sound relaxed today. Is this a good time?
Me(hidden & proud): Feeling better. Say..thanks for the connection set-up.
Lady: You're most welcome sir. Glad to be at your service. By the way, we have a new scheme..
Me(hidden & smart): Oh hey.. maybe some other time. Gotta rush. Have a flight to London!!..