Monday, January 26, 2009

Kashmakash hai..talaash hai

A long road, a clear sky, a stallion spirit. The clock shows 10 minutes to 6, so it's about time. An imposing aircraft clears an arc, and lines up to face the horizon. There's a pause. Final checks with the flips, multi-engines, screwjack, pumps and the beast is unhooked to roar at will. The engines gear up. Make it evident to the lives around. Time. The wheels start making revolutions and try to keep the motion unruffled, soft... Louder!..Faster!..boasting!..feels god like!..

It was in class XI, just after the boards, when I was first acquainted to the engineering pool. Owe it to my friends. A week, and I was aware of all the related exams, subjects to crack, classes, and books to help at that. Dear ones said medical, Mom said engineering, dad kept quiet, sis was doing the same, so it kind of sorted out the options unchallenged. Engineering, Throughout my meagre life, Intestines, dead meats never fascinated me, so the option was pretty much in my face. "You have anything else in your mind son?"..."I like sports dad..Love Basketball...Cricket keep me up, Tennis is fun..and of course first love..ummm..but it's luck there, don't trust mine..engineeringfor me I guess"..
They say it's a new life post school. Seasoned Experts.
Do I believe in them?.. Of course not.
Are they right?.. mmm..occasionally perhaps.
Ahem?.... Okay they were this time.
The first sem was a usual 'slum slang slog' one.
Second sem..I was advised to be patient. It worked. I was soon sick.
The third made it clear why I was sick. Engineering wasn't for me.

My interests and skills were never compatible with the profession I opted for I realized(which i suppose would be the case with many others). I don't despise the electronic world, but it makes me think whether my life can be more useful some place else. I am a rat here, not keen of the race, and looking for a hole to seek an empire of likes.
Three years into engineering, and my belief gets stronger as I type. So what now? I simply decamp the professional route I came down to, through what, a process of elimination, 3 years back?..Do I still have the time and the skill to quick hunt my dreams?..and still personally..Do I regret the morning I told my dad 'I want to become an engineer!'?
Three years. And as my faith holds it's ground. My intelligence runs down my decisions. Today I confess, it was a wrong start. But I also believe, my skills and desires can outrun my follies. Still. For something, they crave and struggle to air like never before.
I never regret entering the circuit world. For a smiley, it has unknowingly given me a foundation. Critical, and a blessing in disguise i feel. It simply cushions my error for the future. If my choice of career falters from here, I can safely fall back to my foundation. My certified degree. Engineering.
My,(and probably even your) dreams may not seek spiritual blessings, but they are beyond the horizon today. The road could be rough, but so shall be our ways... sounds simple ha?..
1. Snap!..pinch!scream!..shrug off your sugaries. Remember, you're running to mend your aspiraions real. Be careful. You cultivate a blind folded vision, and the fall shall be yours. The world no is no longer about smiles, candies and fantasies. Our maturity should reflect our decisions. There's just one pick now on. One shot. Be realistic with your plans. Whether it's cricket or astronomy, Acting or gaming. Be a 'know it all' of your abilities. Ask yourself, twice, thrice, and more till you convince the person on the mirror, that your capabilities can meet your goals.
2. Even if I'm following a dream, the route has to be practical, and well planned. Make a thorough research of what you plan to stand for. This, a lot before you start off. An advice would be to get familar with the term 'Thorough' from a dictionary. We are no longer the cool 'dudes & dudettes'...snap out of it! unfortunately wanders beyond the college compound. Make the internet & libraries useful. The approach has to be mapped. Well planned. Saturate yourself with the deepest of information you can collect regarding your dream-fort. This may include approaching the pro's in the field, face talk. Scratch harder.
3. Remember, it's a slow process. Your choice of route could be mine-fed. Take it on. Sleep with it. Remind yourself, that Your life lies way beyond the enigma. It's most important to keep the focus fresh. Look though the sacks, there'll be a silver streak. Drive the energy and spirit from it. Yes it's slender, but a source nevertheless. Mid-way is most dangerous. When you're tired after a round, run another. Don't look back, don't give up.
4. Nothing comes easily on your plate. We have to give our best at what we do. Our endeavour will come at a cost. Physically less, emotionally more. Personally, I'd say the only solution to the latter is 'family support'(Or your loved ones). They'll be the pillars of your ambitious marathon. The 'catalyst' as I call it. Share your dreams, success and failures with them. It'll be like a..say 'heat-sink'.(excuse me for the technical term, but as I said, I don't regret engineering, does help at times).
5. As engineers, we have made it a habbit to build a network and share our knowledge where it's always between 'you, me and a hundred others!!'..Of course it helps socialising, and making midnight phone friends, but consider if you need any for the matter. A personal advice would be... Keep your things confined to yourself. I believe at times it works best that way.

Success, money, and fame comes with immense hardwork, and with a dynamic taste to it. If I'm not a very power hungry person, and if I don't relish lucrative bank accounts, the idea of hence escaping the rat race would make perfect sense for me, or even otherwise. The point is, the world demands the best out of us, everytime we step out of our doors. If I am doing something, somewhere, which can never meet the life I dream to live, a time shall come when I'll give up. Not literally, but my intensity will dawn, and that would show. I can't put my heart and soul to my work, and the accumulated discontent and unsatisfaction will saturate my growth there on. This way, I'm unjust to my work, people involved, and being selfcentric.. my talents.
Solution?..there's just one. RUN!! won't know till you go. There's no mantra. There's no magic. Our aspirations seek a physical character. Our abilities, our expertise remain unchallenged. Show them a vent. Blast them out. Three years. I don't regret my decisions. But I shall after three years, if I don't do it now..
A long road, a clear sky, a stallion spirit. Look through the horizon. Gear up. Unhook the beast. Roar. Make it evident to the lives around. Now we write a script of our flight of life. It's time. Flap your wings. away where your dreams live.. Louder!..Faster!..boasting!..feel like God!..

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Jingle all the way

It's December! A festive time for most part of the world. Christmas!..and that followed by the new year!..Except that the season has a completely different meaning if you're a part of the "Esteemed" Mumbai University!.. There is something about these months though. The world is happy around you, bright, colourful, while you feel black & white.
Just over a week left now. A couple of exams remaining, and you haven't touched them because your friends haven't.."Dude..masti time..forget studying for a while!"..But it's been a while since that. So You clean up the study place, clear the spider-webs, and fish out for your books. The effort is natural, but demanding. You need to push studies back it's way into the schedule. The syllabus is sea vast, and with multiple subjects at hand, time management is the first and the biggest challenge. With a lot of courage, and a hanumaan chalisa placed gracefully on your table, you dive in. An hour passes by, and your text book is already decorated with dots, stars, and tick marks.Doubts!..Anyways so you take a deep breathe, collect some courage and continue. A few more punches on the face and a blackout! Okay so you're pretty much on the rocks.
You feel the heat, look at the watch, slap yourself then look at the calendar(you're loosing it). 7 days, good atleast your maths section still works.Tension creeps in. You're loosing hair. Fast. You wish santa was here. It's basically a situation we engineers push ourselves into, pretty much every sem.'s Okay. But the fact that despite so, each time the same problem looks bigger and worse is what is not OKAY!..It's freaky! and what more, it affects your thinking haywire. You think you're lagging, and wonder how the others are doing?..Or are they done already?.. eeks!..
You have nothing to loose, So you decide to ask. Now "who to call?"..hmmm..a ranker maybe. Good student..good advice. <tring tring> ...exams make you looney..and it's christmas time happy time:D
"Hey dude wassup? kiddin' right? No re haven't even started..yea maybe in a couple of days..yea okeey-dokeey buddy!..ciao!"
Yayyy Heyyy!..well taste that!..Time to rumble.. You throw your books back at the spiders! Switch on the computer..spend a good day with your Orkutting, Facebooking, Blogging, Youtubing. Whoa that was a relief. Soon enough though, after yuo've satisfied your heart n soul with your do's and antics, you realize you've lost a day. You crash back into your books. A meagre study session, and you feel disgusted for it's time for bed. You call it a day, a bad one, and hit the bed with a determined script for the next day. A promise, a sleepless night.
The new day again follows with cleaning of books, juggling of subjects, time management, and.. phone calls!
"Hey man..dyuuud you started already?...We have 7 more days dude..take a chill pill..Not starting today atleast..yo cya!
'There you go..and to imagine I was loosing pounds for nothing. He's right I should take a break.' And with the wonderful piece of advice, and your very clever 'I deserve a break' thought, you head out. A day playing your favourite sport, hanging out at good places, window shopping. you come back home, spend a little more time in front of computer,TV, listen to some music..because you deserve it ofcourse.
Panic, nervewreck,'ve messed it up again. The calendar is not erratic though. Another day fades off, and a few more, don't stop counting. More promises,many sleepless nights but only to give way to a reduntant one the next morning.The only thing that's consistent in your life at the moment is your inconsistency and an irrational decision making process. That ofcourse helped with the words from the other side of the line like..
"salle tu start kiya?..NERD!!"
"Pagal hai kya?..abhi se kya?"
"yaar mood hi nahi hai start karne ka"
" dude I'll think about it tomorrow" and the most killer one...
"Dude it's christmas, Enjoy!"
Yeah well ho ho ho to you my friend..santa baby aint giving my papers..So feel reckless, and wanna kick yourself. More than anything else you blame others for misleading you, for not telling what they should've. You feel decieved!
Well it's been long years, and from what I've figured out, studying, like it or not is an experience, that shows you the turmoil nature of oneself, and how we accept things we want to.. And this may not necessarily mean just for this. I'm talking about a bigger picutre here..your life.The point is that putting a finger on something or someone is way too easy. I wouldn't find myself in the deep pit had I used my own brains in the first place. And as for the 'advisors'..lets just say I've made it a point I'd strictly be sticking to a couple of people I think I can trust. Never mind asking everyone. But stick to just the ones you find accountable for that matter, for all it's the best way if you believe in synchronised studying.
Having said that though, Why one should and would want to keep the studying habbit and hours a little 'secret' is what baffles me. Mmm..well maybe its their way of working, and suits them..or perhaps they don't wanna scare others with their studying schedule...say "did 5 chapters today!"..and a long pause on the other side indicating the caller will regret calling you!lol could be anything, of which a research is most welcome.
Anyways what leaves a mark of the whole issue is the fact that you are standing on your legs, and will fall on your face. It's your life and ultimately there's no jingle at the end of the road if you wanna live otherwise. So even after you see the humurous side of the whole matter, the habbit of the secret keepers will continue well into the exam day..
"Fatt gayi..lagne waali hai!"
"10 mein se 6 hi kiye yaar"
"sab hawaa mein hai!"
"bhagwaan bharose!"...and here's my favourite one...
"READ maara yaaaaaarrrrrrrr!!"