Monday, January 26, 2009

Kashmakash hai..talaash hai

A long road, a clear sky, a stallion spirit. The clock shows 10 minutes to 6, so it's about time. An imposing aircraft clears an arc, and lines up to face the horizon. There's a pause. Final checks with the flips, multi-engines, screwjack, pumps and the beast is unhooked to roar at will. The engines gear up. Make it evident to the lives around. Time. The wheels start making revolutions and try to keep the motion unruffled, soft... Louder!..Faster!..boasting!..feels god like!..

It was in class XI, just after the boards, when I was first acquainted to the engineering pool. Owe it to my friends. A week, and I was aware of all the related exams, subjects to crack, classes, and books to help at that. Dear ones said medical, Mom said engineering, dad kept quiet, sis was doing the same, so it kind of sorted out the options unchallenged. Engineering, medical..dot. Throughout my meagre life, Intestines, dead meats never fascinated me, so the option was pretty much in my face. "You have anything else in your mind son?"..."I like sports dad..Love Basketball...Cricket keep me up, Tennis is fun..and of course swimming..my first love..ummm..but it's luck there, don't trust mine..engineeringfor me I guess"..
They say it's a new life post school. Seasoned Experts.
Do I believe in them?.. Of course not.
Are they right?.. mmm..occasionally perhaps.
Ahem?.... Okay they were this time.
The first sem was a usual 'slum slang slog' one.
Second sem..I was advised to be patient. It worked. I was soon sick.
The third made it clear why I was sick. Engineering wasn't for me.

My interests and skills were never compatible with the profession I opted for I realized(which i suppose would be the case with many others). I don't despise the electronic world, but it makes me think whether my life can be more useful some place else. I am a rat here, not keen of the race, and looking for a hole to seek an empire of likes.
Three years into engineering, and my belief gets stronger as I type. So what now?..do I simply decamp the professional route I came down to, through what, a process of elimination, 3 years back?..Do I still have the time and the skill to quick hunt my dreams?..and still personally..Do I regret the morning I told my dad 'I want to become an engineer!'?
Three years. And as my faith holds it's ground. My intelligence runs down my decisions. Today I confess, it was a wrong start. But I also believe, my skills and desires can outrun my follies. Still. For something, they crave and struggle to air like never before.
I never regret entering the circuit world. For a smiley, it has unknowingly given me a foundation. Critical, and a blessing in disguise i feel. It simply cushions my error for the future. If my choice of career falters from here, I can safely fall back to my foundation. My certified degree. Engineering.
My,(and probably even your) dreams may not seek spiritual blessings, but they are beyond the horizon today. The road could be rough, but so shall be our ways... sounds simple ha?..
1. Snap!..pinch!scream!..shrug off your sugaries. Remember, you're running to mend your aspiraions real. Be careful. You cultivate a blind folded vision, and the fall shall be yours. The world no is no longer about smiles, candies and fantasies. Our maturity should reflect our decisions. There's just one pick now on. One shot. Be realistic with your plans. Whether it's cricket or astronomy, Acting or gaming. Be a 'know it all' of your abilities. Ask yourself, twice, thrice, and more till you convince the person on the mirror, that your capabilities can meet your goals.
2. Even if I'm following a dream, the route has to be practical, and well planned. Make a thorough research of what you plan to stand for. This, a lot before you start off. An advice would be to get familar with the term 'Thorough' from a dictionary. We are no longer the cool 'dudes & dudettes'...snap out of it!..life unfortunately wanders beyond the college compound. Make the internet & libraries useful. The approach has to be mapped. Well planned. Saturate yourself with the deepest of information you can collect regarding your dream-fort. This may include approaching the pro's in the field, face talk. Scratch harder.
3. Remember, it's a slow process. Your choice of route could be mine-fed. Take it on. Sleep with it. Remind yourself, that Your life lies way beyond the enigma. It's most important to keep the focus fresh. Look though the sacks, there'll be a silver streak. Drive the energy and spirit from it. Yes it's slender, but a source nevertheless. Mid-way is most dangerous. When you're tired after a round, run another. Don't look back, don't give up.
4. Nothing comes easily on your plate. We have to give our best at what we do. Our endeavour will come at a cost. Physically less, emotionally more. Personally, I'd say the only solution to the latter is 'family support'(Or your loved ones). They'll be the pillars of your ambitious marathon. The 'catalyst' as I call it. Share your dreams, success and failures with them. It'll be like a..say 'heat-sink'.(excuse me for the technical term, but as I said, I don't regret engineering, does help at times).
5. As engineers, we have made it a habbit to build a network and share our knowledge where it's always between 'you, me and a hundred others!!'..Of course it helps socialising, and making midnight phone friends, but consider if you need any for the matter. A personal advice would be... Keep your things confined to yourself. I believe at times it works best that way.

Success, money, and fame comes with immense hardwork, and with a dynamic taste to it. If I'm not a very power hungry person, and if I don't relish lucrative bank accounts, the idea of hence escaping the rat race would make perfect sense for me, or even otherwise. The point is, the world demands the best out of us, everytime we step out of our doors. If I am doing something, somewhere, which can never meet the life I dream to live, a time shall come when I'll give up. Not literally, but my intensity will dawn, and that would show. I can't put my heart and soul to my work, and the accumulated discontent and unsatisfaction will saturate my growth there on. This way, I'm unjust to my work, people involved, and being selfcentric.. my talents.
Solution?..there's just one. RUN!!..you won't know till you go. There's no mantra. There's no magic. Our aspirations seek a physical character. Our abilities, our expertise remain unchallenged. Show them a vent. Blast them out. Three years. I don't regret my decisions. But I shall after three years, if I don't do it now..
A long road, a clear sky, a stallion spirit. Look through the horizon. Gear up. Unhook the beast. Roar. Make it evident to the lives around. Now we write a script of our flight of life. It's time. Flap your wings. Fly..fly away where your dreams live.. Louder!..Faster!..boasting!..feel like God!..

14 comments:

yugandhar said...

a very honest insight...to be very frank we all have our share of these feelings/...many of them harsh realities...but seriously man.. even after meticulous planning and working, it is not necessary that we get what we want. and we shouldn't blame ourselves for it.. i didn't get it cos it wasn't mine, something else is in store for me...so what do we do leave evrything to fate? no. we keep doing what comes in front of us.. taking decisions..don't care whether they were right or wrong...try out things if u lik it do it if u don't fk it...and in this whole busy process...this journey if u reamin happy ...if you can have fun with ur frnds and family...then ur successful...very cool post...honestly wriiten.cheers.expecting more posts soon

pratap kaul said...

perennial question, much discussed answers...good post mr shakespeare

ricky said...

dude, i guess you are constantly watchin "ANTARAGNI"
good for you
keep postin so tht i keep remindin myself again n again

situation is almost the same on my part
never the less i never regret do engineerin instead of medicine
bcoz thn i wd hv never met u guyz n sp

love u all....

an ordinary man said...

gr8 post dude...i think we all have the same feeling...but somewhere down the line engineering is a blessing for us. It is only after having a BE degree we can can do watever we want to in life coz we've got nuttin to lose then...neways a very insightful post

Sanket said...

Good post...Nice piece of self evaluation that one should do from time to time. What is gone is gone, just believe that you gonna make the best of what's coming ahead...Maybe engineering may not have been the best choice you have made, We all have at some point picked up the wrong road. But what you make of what you have is to be seen. Cheers to your positive approach.. Guitar jyada bajaya kar....lol..

Gaurav DobhaL said...

Yugandhar...true, but this is what we've got. Our life has always been like 'move on'..when do we really stand up. Trust me, it's not impossible. Sounds so , but as I said..we'll only know when we go.
Pratap...Guess we've discussed a lot on this already:)
Rohan... It's 3 years of accumulated thoughts. My view on this goes long way before any video or song. Yes, they do keep you going, but its too theoretical. Absolutely, the main reason why I dont regret doing engg is all you guys:)...

Gaurav DobhaL said...

Tanmay...It is a blessing. Hit. Of course, the least I would expect from anyone is to fall for my stupid blog and run away!..But as I said, it's a slow process, as a start if you have something else you always wanted to do. If it's so, start preparing for it TODAY!..and anyways, you might just be doing it..Good'ol engg itself!
Sanket...Surely self evaluation is a routine for everyone sanket. Very true, what's gone is gone, and take my word, I smile them off as memories. The road we've chosen is very firm, and holds respect. I'm proud of it..
Lol, yeah only if my guitar could speak;)..

omkar said...

yaar tune to apne clg ke aadhe logo ke dil ki baat bahar nikali yaar..wen u cum 2 thik of it,wat has engg not tought us???
disaster management-yes
studyin without any real help from profs-yes(although many of our classmates fill up dat void)
n den we got 2 do so many things 2gether thanx 2 our gr8 clg...
n wat u said,i feel it is absolutely right..B.E. ki degree apna kafi achcha sahara hai...so use dat foundation,reach a position 4m where u can decide wich way 2 go...n den fly away...........
keep writin man...

Unknown said...

so...badri says u'r the latest disha editor? Disha wll make for some interesting reading :D
Like your style, you've got some raw talent there (nice sound combinations).
Imho, a bit of discipline in the flow of ideas would have perfected it.
Engineering per se in SP is rather worthless, but i believe it makes you ready to take on the world, whether u'r goin to be a technie or not

Gurtej said...

Cool post yaar!!! ur best till date.. However, still there were parts where I lost track and didn't get what you wanted to say. I'm not the best person to comment on this post coz I find engineering pretty much bearable... But goin beyond engineering, there are so many times in life when we compromise and don't follow our heard. That's where your post is apt. All of us need to know where a line is to be drawn and a new path is to be chosen.. Keep writin...

Gurtej said...

*heart

Gaurav DobhaL said...

Omkar- ;)

Sachin- firstly thanks a lot for droppin in. Really appreciate the advice. i would try to build a flow nextym.. hope the magzines worth:)..

gurtej- thnks a lot guru..simply hope iv been able to put across my views, nevermind a bit of it:P..as i said, you mite just be living ur dream as an engineer..so dats a good news..

anand said...

hi HG
1.beautifully put... all that telephonic conversation has been worth every penny...
2.stallion-spirit ..love that worrd..something that still keeps the hope within us alive
3.a must take away for all of us ..-strt RUNNING.

Dimple Nangia said...

Good post. Honestly, your best till date :)

Loved this line:
I am a rat here, not keen of the race, and looking for a hole to seek an empire of likes.

It said it all. :)