Note: This blog was written in a non-drunk, still groggy condition late at night. Random, unplanned and an intended filler for I haven't updated since long. However turned out quite directional. Please excuse the errors whatsoever. And I'm serious.
An anonymous philosopher once said "idolize the crazy men in love, and you shall seek a celestial reform". Jimmy Hendrix, Kurt Cobain, Steve Vai declared their frenzied philosophies to the world through their frantic actions, or their suicide notes. They were completely in Love with the essence of Music. The only difference between them and others being that..Music Loved them back. May be that's why no-one ever understood their meaning to life.
It was the 2nd day of our college fest. After a pretty decent, point non-profitable day, it was finally time for the evening jam. Boy I was waiting for this. Two bands. Fancy lasers. A huge crowd... Time to woo-hoo!
I could sense a majority around me. There was a mess of civilization everywhere. People trying to prove their wisdom and sensibilities wrong. Hey cave-man!..watch us..aha! It's not easy to please our crowd mind you. They don't crack our skulls mad, we boo their asses off our property! Simple. They play some crazy super-rock, shoot the roof off, make us jump, fly, head-bang... doesn't matter, we still boo them away to glory. Ha! beat that cave-man!
The crowd was going crazy I could feel. In all high spirits to bang the music men to shame. Plus of course the fact that the set-up took 30 mins of our miserable life meant, the first song bloody well make it to the Oscars.
They didn't disappoint. A Goldspot, followed by a Hoobastank number. Nice. The court seemed happy, so they were good to breathe. The fame doesn't last for too long, here in SP though. They make sure of it. And hence soon enough, the warm all-open-fingers gesture, greeting 'bravo' made way for the longest, screaming 'shut the hell up!!'
The language is simple to understand when you're an entertainer. The public makes it so. These are basics. And by the looks of it, the kick off band were good with their basics. It was time to pack.
The interim void was soon coated with the 'my dept rocks' and 'your dept sucks' slogans. The cave-men were ridiculed again. Another civil war. Meanwhile, the new band armed themselves and took positions. Only a short delay. I wanted to congratulate them, but was wishing for the same post show.
The lasers slipped. Lights sunk. I almost sensed a ding! Going thrice. I felt like the undertaker's opponent!
Silence...
A laser tore through the pyro and highlighted the guitarist's equipment. I was keyed-up and watched eagerly, as the lanky blue fellow slid a plectrum across his axe, with one hand. And made magic with the other on the frets. The warriors facing them were interrupted by the acquaintance to the tune. Eventhough I wasn't familiar with it, the reaction made it pretty obvious that the song was a hit. Plus it was a bollywood one, and I haven't been following too many of those these days. The band was an instant success. What followed their first profound performance was an exhibition of some really good crowd-winning stirs. Everything was going merry for them. Right songs, right music, no fumbles, no mess...Simply put..It was their day!
It's strange. Unknowingly perhaps, but some incidents trip you to fetch a thought. As the band revelled, the fluids in me declared their empire everywhere within. I could feel what the long haired, stylishly equipped fawkes were feeling that very moment. Tonight, they were all celabrities. But with a sound memory, they shall always be. I felt a hundred million pinches. A war was hooted in me. Elan! It was working!
Everyone of us fancies a blue-streak moment in our lives. As kids, each one of us wanted to be a rockstar and imagined ourselves singing, playing our favourite numbers to thousands in the dark. Flair the sky, bless the audience, make them go crazy, amongst an animated cry for your name, or your band's. I strive to feed that kid in me. Each live performance, each concert pumps up that desire in me, to ride on that void.
I love music, like most of the people around. But feeding my ears with headphones somehow doesn't appeal to my appetite for it. For this very reason perhaps, I've always dreamt of that night. The night when I'd jam right through till the sunrise, with my band, or alone, soothing millions of exhausted souls, soothing myself, from where I can see it all. No, I'm not gonna be a professional, but then I can't let my hitherto nurtured dream melt away. I realize my short-comings, unlike a few lucky ones blessed with a divine talent in music. But I plan to challenge it. Challenge the cave-man in me. My desire for it shall take it on.
A pro-ideology is always welcome in such a case. However I never sport or accept a corrupt thought against it. For instance, my heart felt for the inaugural band that night. It always does when I see a musical bunch being booed. They could've struck the right chord somewhere else, or on some other night. But then I realize the bitter fact today. That's how a band works. It's all about everything going right. Going right that night. That moment. I also figured out, that it's unpredictable nature actually adds to the flavour of the feedback. You get it right with the audience, you get a happy yell, else a middle.
Have my way, I'd love a band. A band with people I know have the same adulation for music, and the band itself. Sneak. And to be honest, my hunt for this design ain't a prospect. I've kind of worked a few notches up. My effort for this goes 2 years back, and to share, I've been assured by a few who see us 'few' playing together sometime from now. The belief has to wait. Held. Unrattled...hmmm who says it's that simple to form a band?!.. Oh but of course.. I believe them:)
'Sometime'...
I can hear the cheer..the resounding echoes in a heart-thumping rythm. I can feel a cold drop of sweat roll down my neck. The grip on my guitar is loosening. F**k this sweat! The noise gets louder as my friends and me approach the centre of the universe. Wait. Are they screaming for us?!..yes!..yes they are yes. Come on! I'm ready. Yeah! This is happening. The World is gonna listen to us tonight! It's our night. We are gOd tonight! I can feel it!.. F**k you cave-man!
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
Kashmakash hai..talaash hai
A long road, a clear sky, a stallion spirit. The clock shows 10 minutes to 6, so it's about time. An imposing aircraft clears an arc, and lines up to face the horizon. There's a pause. Final checks with the flips, multi-engines, screwjack, pumps and the beast is unhooked to roar at will. The engines gear up. Make it evident to the lives around. Time. The wheels start making revolutions and try to keep the motion unruffled, soft... Louder!..Faster!..boasting!..feels god like!..
It was in class XI, just after the boards, when I was first acquainted to the engineering pool. Owe it to my friends. A week, and I was aware of all the related exams, subjects to crack, classes, and books to help at that. Dear ones said medical, Mom said engineering, dad kept quiet, sis was doing the same, so it kind of sorted out the options unchallenged. Engineering, medical..dot. Throughout my meagre life, Intestines, dead meats never fascinated me, so the option was pretty much in my face. "You have anything else in your mind son?"..."I like sports dad..Love Basketball...Cricket keep me up, Tennis is fun..and of course swimming..my first love..ummm..but it's luck there, don't trust mine..engineeringfor me I guess"..
They say it's a new life post school. Seasoned Experts.
Do I believe in them?.. Of course not.
Are they right?.. mmm..occasionally perhaps.
Ahem?.... Okay they were this time.
The first sem was a usual 'slum slang slog' one.
Second sem..I was advised to be patient. It worked. I was soon sick.
The third made it clear why I was sick. Engineering wasn't for me.
My interests and skills were never compatible with the profession I opted for I realized(which i suppose would be the case with many others). I don't despise the electronic world, but it makes me think whether my life can be more useful some place else. I am a rat here, not keen of the race, and looking for a hole to seek an empire of likes.
Three years into engineering, and my belief gets stronger as I type. So what now?..do I simply decamp the professional route I came down to, through what, a process of elimination, 3 years back?..Do I still have the time and the skill to quick hunt my dreams?..and still personally..Do I regret the morning I told my dad 'I want to become an engineer!'?
Three years. And as my faith holds it's ground. My intelligence runs down my decisions. Today I confess, it was a wrong start. But I also believe, my skills and desires can outrun my follies. Still. For something, they crave and struggle to air like never before.
I never regret entering the circuit world. For a smiley, it has unknowingly given me a foundation. Critical, and a blessing in disguise i feel. It simply cushions my error for the future. If my choice of career falters from here, I can safely fall back to my foundation. My certified degree. Engineering.
My,(and probably even your) dreams may not seek spiritual blessings, but they are beyond the horizon today. The road could be rough, but so shall be our ways... sounds simple ha?..
1. Snap!..pinch!scream!..shrug off your sugaries. Remember, you're running to mend your aspiraions real. Be careful. You cultivate a blind folded vision, and the fall shall be yours. The world no is no longer about smiles, candies and fantasies. Our maturity should reflect our decisions. There's just one pick now on. One shot. Be realistic with your plans. Whether it's cricket or astronomy, Acting or gaming. Be a 'know it all' of your abilities. Ask yourself, twice, thrice, and more till you convince the person on the mirror, that your capabilities can meet your goals.
2. Even if I'm following a dream, the route has to be practical, and well planned. Make a thorough research of what you plan to stand for. This, a lot before you start off. An advice would be to get familar with the term 'Thorough' from a dictionary. We are no longer the cool 'dudes & dudettes'...snap out of it!..life unfortunately wanders beyond the college compound. Make the internet & libraries useful. The approach has to be mapped. Well planned. Saturate yourself with the deepest of information you can collect regarding your dream-fort. This may include approaching the pro's in the field, face talk. Scratch harder.
3. Remember, it's a slow process. Your choice of route could be mine-fed. Take it on. Sleep with it. Remind yourself, that Your life lies way beyond the enigma. It's most important to keep the focus fresh. Look though the sacks, there'll be a silver streak. Drive the energy and spirit from it. Yes it's slender, but a source nevertheless. Mid-way is most dangerous. When you're tired after a round, run another. Don't look back, don't give up.
4. Nothing comes easily on your plate. We have to give our best at what we do. Our endeavour will come at a cost. Physically less, emotionally more. Personally, I'd say the only solution to the latter is 'family support'(Or your loved ones). They'll be the pillars of your ambitious marathon. The 'catalyst' as I call it. Share your dreams, success and failures with them. It'll be like a..say 'heat-sink'.(excuse me for the technical term, but as I said, I don't regret engineering, does help at times).
5. As engineers, we have made it a habbit to build a network and share our knowledge where it's always between 'you, me and a hundred others!!'..Of course it helps socialising, and making midnight phone friends, but consider if you need any for the matter. A personal advice would be... Keep your things confined to yourself. I believe at times it works best that way.
Success, money, and fame comes with immense hardwork, and with a dynamic taste to it. If I'm not a very power hungry person, and if I don't relish lucrative bank accounts, the idea of hence escaping the rat race would make perfect sense for me, or even otherwise. The point is, the world demands the best out of us, everytime we step out of our doors. If I am doing something, somewhere, which can never meet the life I dream to live, a time shall come when I'll give up. Not literally, but my intensity will dawn, and that would show. I can't put my heart and soul to my work, and the accumulated discontent and unsatisfaction will saturate my growth there on. This way, I'm unjust to my work, people involved, and being selfcentric.. my talents.
Solution?..there's just one. RUN!!..you won't know till you go. There's no mantra. There's no magic. Our aspirations seek a physical character. Our abilities, our expertise remain unchallenged. Show them a vent. Blast them out. Three years. I don't regret my decisions. But I shall after three years, if I don't do it now..
A long road, a clear sky, a stallion spirit. Look through the horizon. Gear up. Unhook the beast. Roar. Make it evident to the lives around. Now we write a script of our flight of life. It's time. Flap your wings. Fly..fly away where your dreams live.. Louder!..Faster!..boasting!..feel like God!..
It was in class XI, just after the boards, when I was first acquainted to the engineering pool. Owe it to my friends. A week, and I was aware of all the related exams, subjects to crack, classes, and books to help at that. Dear ones said medical, Mom said engineering, dad kept quiet, sis was doing the same, so it kind of sorted out the options unchallenged. Engineering, medical..dot. Throughout my meagre life, Intestines, dead meats never fascinated me, so the option was pretty much in my face. "You have anything else in your mind son?"..."I like sports dad..Love Basketball...Cricket keep me up, Tennis is fun..and of course swimming..my first love..ummm..but it's luck there, don't trust mine..engineeringfor me I guess"..
They say it's a new life post school. Seasoned Experts.
Do I believe in them?.. Of course not.
Are they right?.. mmm..occasionally perhaps.
Ahem?.... Okay they were this time.
The first sem was a usual 'slum slang slog' one.
Second sem..I was advised to be patient. It worked. I was soon sick.
The third made it clear why I was sick. Engineering wasn't for me.
My interests and skills were never compatible with the profession I opted for I realized(which i suppose would be the case with many others). I don't despise the electronic world, but it makes me think whether my life can be more useful some place else. I am a rat here, not keen of the race, and looking for a hole to seek an empire of likes.
Three years into engineering, and my belief gets stronger as I type. So what now?..do I simply decamp the professional route I came down to, through what, a process of elimination, 3 years back?..Do I still have the time and the skill to quick hunt my dreams?..and still personally..Do I regret the morning I told my dad 'I want to become an engineer!'?
Three years. And as my faith holds it's ground. My intelligence runs down my decisions. Today I confess, it was a wrong start. But I also believe, my skills and desires can outrun my follies. Still. For something, they crave and struggle to air like never before.
I never regret entering the circuit world. For a smiley, it has unknowingly given me a foundation. Critical, and a blessing in disguise i feel. It simply cushions my error for the future. If my choice of career falters from here, I can safely fall back to my foundation. My certified degree. Engineering.
My,(and probably even your) dreams may not seek spiritual blessings, but they are beyond the horizon today. The road could be rough, but so shall be our ways... sounds simple ha?..
1. Snap!..pinch!scream!..shrug off your sugaries. Remember, you're running to mend your aspiraions real. Be careful. You cultivate a blind folded vision, and the fall shall be yours. The world no is no longer about smiles, candies and fantasies. Our maturity should reflect our decisions. There's just one pick now on. One shot. Be realistic with your plans. Whether it's cricket or astronomy, Acting or gaming. Be a 'know it all' of your abilities. Ask yourself, twice, thrice, and more till you convince the person on the mirror, that your capabilities can meet your goals.
2. Even if I'm following a dream, the route has to be practical, and well planned. Make a thorough research of what you plan to stand for. This, a lot before you start off. An advice would be to get familar with the term 'Thorough' from a dictionary. We are no longer the cool 'dudes & dudettes'...snap out of it!..life unfortunately wanders beyond the college compound. Make the internet & libraries useful. The approach has to be mapped. Well planned. Saturate yourself with the deepest of information you can collect regarding your dream-fort. This may include approaching the pro's in the field, face talk. Scratch harder.
3. Remember, it's a slow process. Your choice of route could be mine-fed. Take it on. Sleep with it. Remind yourself, that Your life lies way beyond the enigma. It's most important to keep the focus fresh. Look though the sacks, there'll be a silver streak. Drive the energy and spirit from it. Yes it's slender, but a source nevertheless. Mid-way is most dangerous. When you're tired after a round, run another. Don't look back, don't give up.
4. Nothing comes easily on your plate. We have to give our best at what we do. Our endeavour will come at a cost. Physically less, emotionally more. Personally, I'd say the only solution to the latter is 'family support'(Or your loved ones). They'll be the pillars of your ambitious marathon. The 'catalyst' as I call it. Share your dreams, success and failures with them. It'll be like a..say 'heat-sink'.(excuse me for the technical term, but as I said, I don't regret engineering, does help at times).
5. As engineers, we have made it a habbit to build a network and share our knowledge where it's always between 'you, me and a hundred others!!'..Of course it helps socialising, and making midnight phone friends, but consider if you need any for the matter. A personal advice would be... Keep your things confined to yourself. I believe at times it works best that way.
Success, money, and fame comes with immense hardwork, and with a dynamic taste to it. If I'm not a very power hungry person, and if I don't relish lucrative bank accounts, the idea of hence escaping the rat race would make perfect sense for me, or even otherwise. The point is, the world demands the best out of us, everytime we step out of our doors. If I am doing something, somewhere, which can never meet the life I dream to live, a time shall come when I'll give up. Not literally, but my intensity will dawn, and that would show. I can't put my heart and soul to my work, and the accumulated discontent and unsatisfaction will saturate my growth there on. This way, I'm unjust to my work, people involved, and being selfcentric.. my talents.
Solution?..there's just one. RUN!!..you won't know till you go. There's no mantra. There's no magic. Our aspirations seek a physical character. Our abilities, our expertise remain unchallenged. Show them a vent. Blast them out. Three years. I don't regret my decisions. But I shall after three years, if I don't do it now..
A long road, a clear sky, a stallion spirit. Look through the horizon. Gear up. Unhook the beast. Roar. Make it evident to the lives around. Now we write a script of our flight of life. It's time. Flap your wings. Fly..fly away where your dreams live.. Louder!..Faster!..boasting!..feel like God!..
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Jingle all the way
It's December! A festive time for most part of the world. Christmas!..and that followed by the new year!..Except that the season has a completely different meaning if you're a part of the "Esteemed" Mumbai University!.. There is something about these months though. The world is happy around you, bright, colourful, while you feel black & white.
Just over a week left now. A couple of exams remaining, and you haven't touched them because your friends haven't.."Dude..masti time..forget studying for a while!"..But it's been a while since that. So You clean up the study place, clear the spider-webs, and fish out for your books. The effort is natural, but demanding. You need to push studies back it's way into the schedule. The syllabus is sea vast, and with multiple subjects at hand, time management is the first and the biggest challenge. With a lot of courage, and a hanumaan chalisa placed gracefully on your table, you dive in. An hour passes by, and your text book is already decorated with dots, stars, and tick marks.Doubts!..Anyways so you take a deep breathe, collect some courage and continue. A few more punches on the face and a blackout! Okay so you're pretty much on the rocks.
You feel the heat, look at the watch, slap yourself then look at the calendar(you're loosing it). 7 days, good atleast your maths section still works.Tension creeps in. You're loosing hair. Fast. You wish santa was here. It's basically a situation we engineers push ourselves into, pretty much every sem. Mmmm..it's Okay. But the fact that despite so, each time the same problem looks bigger and worse is what is not OKAY!..It's freaky! and what more, it affects your thinking haywire. You think you're lagging, and wonder how the others are doing?..Or are they done already?.. eeks!..
You have nothing to loose, So you decide to ask. Now "who to call?"..hmmm..a ranker maybe. Good student..good advice. <tring tring> ...exams make you looney..and it's christmas time happy time:D
"Hey dude wassup?..Haha..you kiddin' right? No re haven't even started..yea maybe in a couple of days..yea okeey-dokeey buddy!..ciao!"
Yayyy Heyyy!..well taste that!..Time to rumble.. You throw your books back at the spiders! Switch on the computer..spend a good day with your Orkutting, Facebooking, Blogging, Youtubing. Whoa that was a relief. Soon enough though, after yuo've satisfied your heart n soul with your do's and antics, you realize you've lost a day. You crash back into your books. A meagre study session, and you feel disgusted for it's time for bed. You call it a day, a bad one, and hit the bed with a determined script for the next day. A promise, a sleepless night.
The new day again follows with cleaning of books, juggling of subjects, time management, and.. phone calls!
"Hey man..dyuuud you started already?...We have 7 more days dude..take a chill pill..Not starting today atleast..yo cya!
'There you go..and to imagine I was loosing pounds for nothing. He's right I should take a break.' And with the wonderful piece of advice, and your very clever 'I deserve a break' thought, you head out. A day playing your favourite sport, hanging out at good places, window shopping. Wonderful..so you come back home, spend a little more time in front of computer,TV, listen to some music..because you deserve it ofcourse.
Panic, nervewreck, anxiety..you've messed it up again. The calendar is not erratic though. Another day fades off, and a few more, don't stop counting. More promises,many sleepless nights but only to give way to a reduntant one the next morning.The only thing that's consistent in your life at the moment is your inconsistency and an irrational decision making process. That ofcourse helped with the words from the other side of the line like..
"salle tu start kiya?..NERD!!"
"Pagal hai kya?..abhi se kya?"
"yaar mood hi nahi hai start karne ka"
"haha..no dude I'll think about it tomorrow" and the most killer one...
"Dude it's christmas, Enjoy!"
Yeah well ho ho ho to you my friend..santa baby aint giving my papers..So now..you feel reckless, and wanna kick yourself. More than anything else you blame others for misleading you, for not telling what they should've. You feel decieved!
Well it's been long years, and from what I've figured out, studying, like it or not is an experience, that shows you the turmoil nature of oneself, and how we accept things we want to.. And this may not necessarily mean just for this. I'm talking about a bigger picutre here..your life.The point is that putting a finger on something or someone is way too easy. I wouldn't find myself in the deep pit had I used my own brains in the first place. And as for the 'advisors'..lets just say I've made it a point I'd strictly be sticking to a couple of people I think I can trust. Never mind asking everyone. But stick to just the ones you find accountable for that matter, for all it's the best way if you believe in synchronised studying.
Having said that though, Why one should and would want to keep the studying habbit and hours a little 'secret' is what baffles me. Mmm..well maybe its their way of working, and suits them..or perhaps they don't wanna scare others with their studying schedule...say "did 5 chapters today!"..and a long pause on the other side indicating the caller will regret calling you!lol could be anything, of which a research is most welcome.
Anyways what leaves a mark of the whole issue is the fact that you are standing on your legs, and will fall on your face. It's your life and ultimately there's no jingle at the end of the road if you wanna live otherwise. So even after you see the humurous side of the whole matter, the habbit of the secret keepers will continue well into the exam day..
"Fatt gayi..lagne waali hai!"
"10 mein se 6 hi kiye yaar"
"sab hawaa mein hai!"
"bhagwaan bharose!"...and here's my favourite one...
"READ maara yaaaaaarrrrrrrr!!"
Just over a week left now. A couple of exams remaining, and you haven't touched them because your friends haven't.."Dude..masti time..forget studying for a while!"..But it's been a while since that. So You clean up the study place, clear the spider-webs, and fish out for your books. The effort is natural, but demanding. You need to push studies back it's way into the schedule. The syllabus is sea vast, and with multiple subjects at hand, time management is the first and the biggest challenge. With a lot of courage, and a hanumaan chalisa placed gracefully on your table, you dive in. An hour passes by, and your text book is already decorated with dots, stars, and tick marks.Doubts!..Anyways so you take a deep breathe, collect some courage and continue. A few more punches on the face and a blackout! Okay so you're pretty much on the rocks.
You feel the heat, look at the watch, slap yourself then look at the calendar(you're loosing it). 7 days, good atleast your maths section still works.Tension creeps in. You're loosing hair. Fast. You wish santa was here. It's basically a situation we engineers push ourselves into, pretty much every sem. Mmmm..it's Okay. But the fact that despite so, each time the same problem looks bigger and worse is what is not OKAY!..It's freaky! and what more, it affects your thinking haywire. You think you're lagging, and wonder how the others are doing?..Or are they done already?.. eeks!..
You have nothing to loose, So you decide to ask. Now "who to call?"..hmmm..a ranker maybe. Good student..good advice. <tring tring> ...exams make you looney..and it's christmas time happy time:D
"Hey dude wassup?..Haha..you kiddin' right? No re haven't even started..yea maybe in a couple of days..yea okeey-dokeey buddy!..ciao!"
Yayyy Heyyy!..well taste that!..Time to rumble.. You throw your books back at the spiders! Switch on the computer..spend a good day with your Orkutting, Facebooking, Blogging, Youtubing. Whoa that was a relief. Soon enough though, after yuo've satisfied your heart n soul with your do's and antics, you realize you've lost a day. You crash back into your books. A meagre study session, and you feel disgusted for it's time for bed. You call it a day, a bad one, and hit the bed with a determined script for the next day. A promise, a sleepless night.
The new day again follows with cleaning of books, juggling of subjects, time management, and.. phone calls!
"Hey man..dyuuud you started already?...We have 7 more days dude..take a chill pill..Not starting today atleast..yo cya!
'There you go..and to imagine I was loosing pounds for nothing. He's right I should take a break.' And with the wonderful piece of advice, and your very clever 'I deserve a break' thought, you head out. A day playing your favourite sport, hanging out at good places, window shopping. Wonderful..so you come back home, spend a little more time in front of computer,TV, listen to some music..because you deserve it ofcourse.
Panic, nervewreck, anxiety..you've messed it up again. The calendar is not erratic though. Another day fades off, and a few more, don't stop counting. More promises,many sleepless nights but only to give way to a reduntant one the next morning.The only thing that's consistent in your life at the moment is your inconsistency and an irrational decision making process. That ofcourse helped with the words from the other side of the line like..
"salle tu start kiya?..NERD!!"
"Pagal hai kya?..abhi se kya?"
"yaar mood hi nahi hai start karne ka"
"haha..no dude I'll think about it tomorrow" and the most killer one...
"Dude it's christmas, Enjoy!"
Yeah well ho ho ho to you my friend..santa baby aint giving my papers..So now..you feel reckless, and wanna kick yourself. More than anything else you blame others for misleading you, for not telling what they should've. You feel decieved!
Well it's been long years, and from what I've figured out, studying, like it or not is an experience, that shows you the turmoil nature of oneself, and how we accept things we want to.. And this may not necessarily mean just for this. I'm talking about a bigger picutre here..your life.The point is that putting a finger on something or someone is way too easy. I wouldn't find myself in the deep pit had I used my own brains in the first place. And as for the 'advisors'..lets just say I've made it a point I'd strictly be sticking to a couple of people I think I can trust. Never mind asking everyone. But stick to just the ones you find accountable for that matter, for all it's the best way if you believe in synchronised studying.
Having said that though, Why one should and would want to keep the studying habbit and hours a little 'secret' is what baffles me. Mmm..well maybe its their way of working, and suits them..or perhaps they don't wanna scare others with their studying schedule...say "did 5 chapters today!"..and a long pause on the other side indicating the caller will regret calling you!lol could be anything, of which a research is most welcome.
Anyways what leaves a mark of the whole issue is the fact that you are standing on your legs, and will fall on your face. It's your life and ultimately there's no jingle at the end of the road if you wanna live otherwise. So even after you see the humurous side of the whole matter, the habbit of the secret keepers will continue well into the exam day..
"Fatt gayi..lagne waali hai!"
"10 mein se 6 hi kiye yaar"
"sab hawaa mein hai!"
"bhagwaan bharose!"...and here's my favourite one...
"READ maara yaaaaaarrrrrrrr!!"
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Tequila Sunrise
It's another tequila sunrise, starin' slowly across the sky...
It's been long since i woke up this early. Young sky fresh and blue. The Sun looks beautiful when not at it's brightest best. It's mid-November, and the window puts across the most magnificent view of a poetic nature. I'm with my guitar, strumming the chrods of this soothing composition by Eagles. The cool breeze, the rustling moist saplings, the chirping birds making it a perfect orchestra.
It's strange, but it's only so rare, that you find ingredients like these that feather you into some other world. Now i'm not a singer really, but i felt some good music in my ears. Another morning magic. The sky was getting brighter, against my realization. So I shifted my eyes to a yet mellow ground. It was only then, when i saw a young boy looking up, and another, and more till the count touched 6. They were all looking up, or beyond. I stopped playing, and my voice saw an absurd dead end. I wasn't wearing my glasses, so there was no way i could follow those 12 eyes. I had to find out what had gripped them all of a sudden, so i started strumming again. One of the kids pointed to me, and that triggered a show! A couple of them, the smallest of the lot were jumping harmlessly on the cement slice. The trees filtered the hiking sun rays, partially, and produced a scintillating laser effect. The whole scenario was (in simple words).. 'rocking'. This is what music does to you.
I wished the moment be shot, but as luck had it, the 'lets get started' merrymaking was suddenly interrupted. The very next moment, I saw the kids chased by a middle aged woman with a sweeper in her hand. It din't take me long to realize who they were. Soon enough, i saw the kids pick up scrapps and leftovers, some goin into their pockets, but most into a Garbage bin twice their size. I felt for them. I sat down and got back to the sunrise, but the guitar din't seem going, the music had lost the lustre. It was pointless. I knew what was wrong. Anyways the sun was in my face now, enough for the morning ecstasy i thought. My soon to become frenzy was now a fairytale.
My awww din't end there. I knew that even if i'd spent the whole day thinking about the the life of these pure souls, (and that too at such a rickety age) I'd still fall short of the reality. What's worse is that people like me can feel sorry for them, yes..but can do nothing about it..Or...hmmm.."can I?!"
"Gaurav, why are you running with your guitar, have your breakfast!"...There was a sudden rush of blood in me. I felt the breeze blits across my face as I hopped big leaps over the staircase . I wasn't listening. I sped down.. and saw them, much larger now, but I was still a giant.Their mother was not there. Good!, I thought. I sat on a slab, positioned my guitar and waited till this new and unusual genre of audience surrounded me. I asked the youngest of the kids what his favourite song was. "Rock on!" came back the answer, packed with a shy smile.I started strumming again, and we took off where we left from. The kids were back on the cement slice. The smiles were back. They knew the lyrics, so that solved my problems. The lady with the broom was still nowhere around. And I din't bother to track her motions, inviting another abrupt invasion. Only this time though, it was my audience to bar me. While at it, all the kids started to run, away from the pick of course. Now this was the second time in an hour I was dumped like this. And the worst feeling for any aspiring musician( though I'm nowhere close..still) is when his audience shows him their 'finger or back'! I turned my head only to see the same female approaching..still distant. She was carrying big black garbage bags, more than what she was supposed to i guess. I eagerly looked on as the six kids helped her drag the waste to the bin. I wasn't moving. She bent down and BANG! whacked one of the kids. I tightened a bit, being the probable reason. Deja vu!, the kids started running again, this time in small random circles. The lady was back with the weapon, but this time, with a smile on her face. I stayed numb. The echo of the last string I hit, still in my head. It's amazing how the smallest of things can teach you big lessons in the simplest yet most extraordinary ways. The rare early rise that started from a fiction, had ended up showing me something so prominent in life. Priority and fundamentals of one's nature makes you so wise, so early. The incident made me think of how 'out of a storybook' life I'm living.
I slowly walked back. Smiled at the kids as I passed them. They smiled back. "Tang toh nahi kiya na beta?" the lady asked. I nodded. Bang! another one. They laughed in unison. I laughed back...
It's been long since i woke up this early. Young sky fresh and blue. The Sun looks beautiful when not at it's brightest best. It's mid-November, and the window puts across the most magnificent view of a poetic nature. I'm with my guitar, strumming the chrods of this soothing composition by Eagles. The cool breeze, the rustling moist saplings, the chirping birds making it a perfect orchestra.
It's strange, but it's only so rare, that you find ingredients like these that feather you into some other world. Now i'm not a singer really, but i felt some good music in my ears. Another morning magic. The sky was getting brighter, against my realization. So I shifted my eyes to a yet mellow ground. It was only then, when i saw a young boy looking up, and another, and more till the count touched 6. They were all looking up, or beyond. I stopped playing, and my voice saw an absurd dead end. I wasn't wearing my glasses, so there was no way i could follow those 12 eyes. I had to find out what had gripped them all of a sudden, so i started strumming again. One of the kids pointed to me, and that triggered a show! A couple of them, the smallest of the lot were jumping harmlessly on the cement slice. The trees filtered the hiking sun rays, partially, and produced a scintillating laser effect. The whole scenario was (in simple words).. 'rocking'. This is what music does to you.
I wished the moment be shot, but as luck had it, the 'lets get started' merrymaking was suddenly interrupted. The very next moment, I saw the kids chased by a middle aged woman with a sweeper in her hand. It din't take me long to realize who they were. Soon enough, i saw the kids pick up scrapps and leftovers, some goin into their pockets, but most into a Garbage bin twice their size. I felt for them. I sat down and got back to the sunrise, but the guitar din't seem going, the music had lost the lustre. It was pointless. I knew what was wrong. Anyways the sun was in my face now, enough for the morning ecstasy i thought. My soon to become frenzy was now a fairytale.
My awww din't end there. I knew that even if i'd spent the whole day thinking about the the life of these pure souls, (and that too at such a rickety age) I'd still fall short of the reality. What's worse is that people like me can feel sorry for them, yes..but can do nothing about it..Or...hmmm.."can I?!"
"Gaurav, why are you running with your guitar, have your breakfast!"...There was a sudden rush of blood in me. I felt the breeze blits across my face as I hopped big leaps over the staircase . I wasn't listening. I sped down.. and saw them, much larger now, but I was still a giant.Their mother was not there. Good!, I thought. I sat on a slab, positioned my guitar and waited till this new and unusual genre of audience surrounded me. I asked the youngest of the kids what his favourite song was. "Rock on!" came back the answer, packed with a shy smile.I started strumming again, and we took off where we left from. The kids were back on the cement slice. The smiles were back. They knew the lyrics, so that solved my problems. The lady with the broom was still nowhere around. And I din't bother to track her motions, inviting another abrupt invasion. Only this time though, it was my audience to bar me. While at it, all the kids started to run, away from the pick of course. Now this was the second time in an hour I was dumped like this. And the worst feeling for any aspiring musician( though I'm nowhere close..still) is when his audience shows him their 'finger or back'! I turned my head only to see the same female approaching..still distant. She was carrying big black garbage bags, more than what she was supposed to i guess. I eagerly looked on as the six kids helped her drag the waste to the bin. I wasn't moving. She bent down and BANG! whacked one of the kids. I tightened a bit, being the probable reason. Deja vu!, the kids started running again, this time in small random circles. The lady was back with the weapon, but this time, with a smile on her face. I stayed numb. The echo of the last string I hit, still in my head. It's amazing how the smallest of things can teach you big lessons in the simplest yet most extraordinary ways. The rare early rise that started from a fiction, had ended up showing me something so prominent in life. Priority and fundamentals of one's nature makes you so wise, so early. The incident made me think of how 'out of a storybook' life I'm living.
I slowly walked back. Smiled at the kids as I passed them. They smiled back. "Tang toh nahi kiya na beta?" the lady asked. I nodded. Bang! another one. They laughed in unison. I laughed back...
Friday, November 7, 2008
footprints..
Aakash: dude, meri toh lag gayi!..AIEEE se bhi nahi hua.
Me : chal na yaar,xaviers mein ho gaya na..khush reh.
Akaash: abbe tum sab hi-fy engineering colleges mein..main kya karega BSc karke?
Me : dude, xaviers!..hi-fy chicks!..axe land oye..maze!...mera soch..SP!.. gay in a months time.
Akaash: maa kasam dobby saale, school khatam re,baaski gaya,lukkhagiri khatam,sab gaya re. main senti ho raha hai.
Me : abbe woh chod..yeh soch, ab toh woh bhi nahi dikhegi..hahahaha
Akaash: gaurav, abhi kabhi milenge yar?
Okay now on a usual day, i would've laughed out on the fact that my friend's EQ was sharpening, but the fact that he called me by my first name(which no one ever does), made me see where he was coming from.Most of the results post 12th were out, and the thought of never going to the school again, was suddenly taking my stomach for a spin. The farewell just happened a week back. We had a blast of a time i tell you. All of us together,singing,dancing,eating..(the punk n junk way mind you, We were no gentlemen) basically making an ordinary weekday look kickass as we always did when we were together.There was always this sense of pride, an element of euphoria when i was in my shrink,'the BAND' as i usually put it. But this particular conversation was really making me wonder if that was ALL we could manage to pull out that particular day,considering it was probably the last with all of there,together.
I hung up after a consoling session that lasted for an hour, and helped myself to a chair(or maybe it was the sofa,cant recall). There was a weak and forceful smile on my face I realized, trying to make sense of what the two of us had just discovered, trying my best to avoid the obvious fact. "What was that?!" I thought..An hour passed, and another, till i realized it was time the cushion catches up on some air. The seconds kept haunting me the whole day after that, the smile din't go either. Damn! It's one of those things ,you wish was a bad dream you could laugh away the next morning. One of those things, you wish you hadn't thought of in the first place.
The new term was going to begin in a months time, or thats what the University claimed, which meant i had plenty of time to spoil myself. Perfect! I mean, What better way to celebrate your admission(into one of the best colleges of Mumbai) than giving quality time to Basketball, movies, music, sleep! with food pumped in between all of them. lOts of it! I remember watching this hollywood flick, where 2 high school girls and a guy kidnap their teacher, who caught them cheating during an exam. The teacher is a 'love to hate' kinda,unattractive female, and a venomously mean character, and so the trio coerce her, take her semi-naked pics( did i say unattractive?) and blackmail her for their reasons. Oh and yes, there was a mention of "A man getting a sex change operation, and ending up becoming a lesbian"!!..hmmm..and just when the story was shaping up decently well for a spear head climax, my cell rang..."Fasso!"..that would be Abhinav,well thats what he calls me(yeah i wonder too)."Get wasted with your love eeks till that baby fat of yours settles in enough for me to kick!..Get some exercise peahead! Listen,Bakshi,deepu & me playing futti at Eden..you coming at sharp 5!". Now I have this really kewl habbit of NEVER dropping in on time. What's kewler is that my friends have figured that out. We started at 7. After a long,tiring,crampy session that lasted 20mins, i pulled out. Boy, i never thought i'd say this..but i guess abhinav was right. I could feel a planet between my chin, and my legs everytime i bent down ..Anyways we had to stop 'cause the watchman was now blowing his whistel, his pants were on fire. We hit a nearby KFC joint. And happily, since we never had to pay.It was always 'Abhinav' Vs 'The Bill' and our million dollar kid always won hands down. A splendid, lusturous PLATINUM card today!..Awesome! we went for another round.
Nothing different that i remember followed for a couple more weeks. We tried to plan a couple of reunions again, but nothing really materialised. Most of my friends were now busy with their colleges. Some in delhi, many in Chennai, a few abroad. Yes, Aakash was in mumbai. But seemed he was pretty happy in Xaviers. Not a call from him for a week now, guess the axe-land was keeping my friend busy. Good for him. Abhinav, Deepu, Bakhsi were busy with their colleges too. And with that ended our meagre futti sessions, and whatsoever little exercise i had. The only substantial next thing now was going to be my first day at college, i thought.Our lovely Mumbai University however, the 'Maharaja' ofcourse was taking its own season to break the hibernation swear. If the rumour was to be believed, the next week would see the Sardar Patel Institute of Technology eat up another fresh batch of people trying to run the world on nuts, bolts and circuits. Not then, but now weighing the experience lemme tell you, "Its safest to believe in rumours!!"..Engineering through the Mumbai University is like a time-bomb in your pants. You never know when it goes off.. BOOM-BANG..phir matt kehna.."FATTEEEE"!!!So as it turned out, the official announcement was made, and 'THE' day was just a couple of days away..
THE Day ........"Wake up!"..My friends really mean it when they say i should be a little more punctual. It was the first day of college. I felt cold and wet, turned and saw mom, holding a half empty jug of water. I rubbed my eyes, yawned you needn't know how many times, and looked at my watch. The college was supposed to start off at 10am, and it was 9 already. However, despite a rather slow start, i was able to set off from home in 20 mins. The bus i caught, was gonna drop me right in front of the Bhavans gate, as told to me by the bus conductor. It's an hour ride from powai. The journey isn't really smooth, god bless the roads, god bless the BMC. The sky looked beautiful of course. There was a flock of splendid blue coloured birds moving across the sky, forming a V-shape. Now I could blame the breakfast, or the creatively hammered raods of mumbai, but i knew there was something more ardent inside, that was making me feel dizzy all of a sudden.It's one of those things, that swirl you into a semi-councious thought of predicting what lies ahead of you. I was no longer missing the school, and that made it even strange. I looked up, the birds were no longer in sight, they had moved on. A frost-tail current ran through me. I was entering a new world i realised. Maybe it was time for me to move on too. And like it or not, i already was.The thoughts kept me occupied, and sooner than it seemed i reached Bhavans. A light stroll, and there i was standing right in front of the Main gate of Sardar Patel Institute of Technology.
The numbness was fading as i entered, and i felt that adventurous seeking smile on my face again.What happened between the day then, and till today, is something that i would call a lunatic documentary, my second life. Something that would(take my word for it), need another season to put together in words. Something.. i would lovve to share, maybe in near future.
Me : chal na yaar,xaviers mein ho gaya na..khush reh.
Akaash: abbe tum sab hi-fy engineering colleges mein..main kya karega BSc karke?
Me : dude, xaviers!..hi-fy chicks!..axe land oye..maze!...mera soch..SP!.. gay in a months time.
Akaash: maa kasam dobby saale, school khatam re,baaski gaya,lukkhagiri khatam,sab gaya re. main senti ho raha hai.
Me : abbe woh chod..yeh soch, ab toh woh bhi nahi dikhegi..hahahaha
Akaash: gaurav, abhi kabhi milenge yar?
Okay now on a usual day, i would've laughed out on the fact that my friend's EQ was sharpening, but the fact that he called me by my first name(which no one ever does), made me see where he was coming from.Most of the results post 12th were out, and the thought of never going to the school again, was suddenly taking my stomach for a spin. The farewell just happened a week back. We had a blast of a time i tell you. All of us together,singing,dancing,eating..(the punk n junk way mind you, We were no gentlemen) basically making an ordinary weekday look kickass as we always did when we were together.There was always this sense of pride, an element of euphoria when i was in my shrink,'the BAND' as i usually put it. But this particular conversation was really making me wonder if that was ALL we could manage to pull out that particular day,considering it was probably the last with all of there,together.
I hung up after a consoling session that lasted for an hour, and helped myself to a chair(or maybe it was the sofa,cant recall). There was a weak and forceful smile on my face I realized, trying to make sense of what the two of us had just discovered, trying my best to avoid the obvious fact. "What was that?!" I thought..An hour passed, and another, till i realized it was time the cushion catches up on some air. The seconds kept haunting me the whole day after that, the smile din't go either. Damn! It's one of those things ,you wish was a bad dream you could laugh away the next morning. One of those things, you wish you hadn't thought of in the first place.
The new term was going to begin in a months time, or thats what the University claimed, which meant i had plenty of time to spoil myself. Perfect! I mean, What better way to celebrate your admission(into one of the best colleges of Mumbai) than giving quality time to Basketball, movies, music, sleep! with food pumped in between all of them. lOts of it! I remember watching this hollywood flick, where 2 high school girls and a guy kidnap their teacher, who caught them cheating during an exam. The teacher is a 'love to hate' kinda,unattractive female, and a venomously mean character, and so the trio coerce her, take her semi-naked pics( did i say unattractive?) and blackmail her for their reasons. Oh and yes, there was a mention of "A man getting a sex change operation, and ending up becoming a lesbian"!!..hmmm..and just when the story was shaping up decently well for a spear head climax, my cell rang..."Fasso!"..that would be Abhinav,well thats what he calls me(yeah i wonder too)."Get wasted with your love eeks till that baby fat of yours settles in enough for me to kick!..Get some exercise peahead! Listen,Bakshi,deepu & me playing futti at Eden..you coming at sharp 5!". Now I have this really kewl habbit of NEVER dropping in on time. What's kewler is that my friends have figured that out. We started at 7. After a long,tiring,crampy session that lasted 20mins, i pulled out. Boy, i never thought i'd say this..but i guess abhinav was right. I could feel a planet between my chin, and my legs everytime i bent down ..Anyways we had to stop 'cause the watchman was now blowing his whistel, his pants were on fire. We hit a nearby KFC joint. And happily, since we never had to pay.It was always 'Abhinav' Vs 'The Bill' and our million dollar kid always won hands down. A splendid, lusturous PLATINUM card today!..Awesome! we went for another round.
Nothing different that i remember followed for a couple more weeks. We tried to plan a couple of reunions again, but nothing really materialised. Most of my friends were now busy with their colleges. Some in delhi, many in Chennai, a few abroad. Yes, Aakash was in mumbai. But seemed he was pretty happy in Xaviers. Not a call from him for a week now, guess the axe-land was keeping my friend busy. Good for him. Abhinav, Deepu, Bakhsi were busy with their colleges too. And with that ended our meagre futti sessions, and whatsoever little exercise i had. The only substantial next thing now was going to be my first day at college, i thought.Our lovely Mumbai University however, the 'Maharaja' ofcourse was taking its own season to break the hibernation swear. If the rumour was to be believed, the next week would see the Sardar Patel Institute of Technology eat up another fresh batch of people trying to run the world on nuts, bolts and circuits. Not then, but now weighing the experience lemme tell you, "Its safest to believe in rumours!!"..Engineering through the Mumbai University is like a time-bomb in your pants. You never know when it goes off.. BOOM-BANG..phir matt kehna.."FATTEEEE"!!!So as it turned out, the official announcement was made, and 'THE' day was just a couple of days away..
THE Day ........"Wake up!"..My friends really mean it when they say i should be a little more punctual. It was the first day of college. I felt cold and wet, turned and saw mom, holding a half empty jug of water. I rubbed my eyes, yawned you needn't know how many times, and looked at my watch. The college was supposed to start off at 10am, and it was 9 already. However, despite a rather slow start, i was able to set off from home in 20 mins. The bus i caught, was gonna drop me right in front of the Bhavans gate, as told to me by the bus conductor. It's an hour ride from powai. The journey isn't really smooth, god bless the roads, god bless the BMC. The sky looked beautiful of course. There was a flock of splendid blue coloured birds moving across the sky, forming a V-shape. Now I could blame the breakfast, or the creatively hammered raods of mumbai, but i knew there was something more ardent inside, that was making me feel dizzy all of a sudden.It's one of those things, that swirl you into a semi-councious thought of predicting what lies ahead of you. I was no longer missing the school, and that made it even strange. I looked up, the birds were no longer in sight, they had moved on. A frost-tail current ran through me. I was entering a new world i realised. Maybe it was time for me to move on too. And like it or not, i already was.The thoughts kept me occupied, and sooner than it seemed i reached Bhavans. A light stroll, and there i was standing right in front of the Main gate of Sardar Patel Institute of Technology.
The numbness was fading as i entered, and i felt that adventurous seeking smile on my face again.What happened between the day then, and till today, is something that i would call a lunatic documentary, my second life. Something that would(take my word for it), need another season to put together in words. Something.. i would lovve to share, maybe in near future.
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