Footprints

What a horrendous day. Perfect I think. I was on the edge for a while. Precarious. But It's all falling apart now. Perfect. Just what I needed.

You know I always thought blogging could be a way of emptying your stomach without throwing up. Flushing away your frustrations. Giving wings to your mood swings. Bombing the bad in your life.

Some 10 posts hence.. I'm finally of the opinion it's true.

Of course I still believe it's the most pseudo mechanical way of doing things. I mean no one knows what you're face and eyes would tell. You are at a definite advantage. Punching the keyboard like you feel. Bang Bang Bang!!!

Honesty, diplomacy, romance, vigour, humour... literature is like a delicious cake.. and blogging crowns it with a cherry.

I'd agree I'm being an idiot.. atleast sounding like one. But I for once know what I mean. And whether someone noticed or not.. the cake is already baked.

Here's the cherry.. You're reading my final post on footprints.

I've scratched my head pretty hard trying to figure out what this post would be like. I knew I'll choke it in the final season right from the day I started. But my options were way more significant. Friends, life, college, experiences...

I've always wanted to write on such streams.. but I believe they're things one can never understand on screens or paper. Being fair.. neither can one truly express.

It's been sometime since the scratching. And trust me.. this is by far the best I've come up with. And god knows I mean it.

The term footprints means a lot to me, and The Blogosphere has been a smart market. I'm in debt.. but i'd thank it for the shrink nevertheless.

Over the past year( since I started) I've had the privilege of reading some brilliant posts!

I won't name.. but I do have some favourites;-)

I've constantly been amazed and impressed by the way one can think and express the same.

It's been inspiring.. and it's been fun too.

Anyhow.. I'd save you the precious minute and would like to thank you all for being a part of this space.

Once again.. Its been a pleasure reading your posts. All of yours. And I assure you.. you haven't lost a reader.

Take care.

A busy route

The lights made the society look majestic. People were havin a good time it seemed. They were busy.
I took a good look at the basketball court. Some fond memories we share. I still remember the great barb-finishing games we played here. Our four years of young sweat was subsumed somewhere and everywhere.. pretty much all over the place..deep below, perhaps still in patches.

As I moved on, I saw a couple of guys sitting on a park-bench. There was a girl too. A little older than the two blokes. She was talking. Now I usually avoid any sort of a staring glance or even an eye-contact for the matter, at or with the bodies moving round me (for reasons not relevant). Plus I'm not very fond of eavesdropping either. But the girl was pretty. So I ended up doing both.
"..None of these. Love is not defined.. you need to make the girl feel special about the bond you both share!"

Oh yeah!.. The only time I come across those terms is while solving a CAT question these days.

I smiled my way back. The whole of it. It had nothing to do with the great wise words, but the scenario, the flock, the moon. I felt my way a few months back, when we guys used to sit in a circle and chat all night long. Talk our heart out. Never exhausted. Laughing all the way untill all of a sudden, we realize it's too late and one might just miss their last local. The quad sessions are always the best date you can have.

It's not too hard to figure out why all of a sudden a lot has changed this semester. People have realized it's time to get things in order. Everyone's busy. Too busy. Honestly,I'm not really enjoying my time in this cave. But then I do know it's a phase that needs to be tolerated. And eventually we shall wave it a goodbye. I feel this lamp still has what it takes to last a little longer. I only hope it doesn't flutter out just like that. I wish we do it with a bang!
It's just this time. I intend to respect it and allow it to be consumed.

I actually had no desire to write down anything today( hence forgive me, or rather bless me..for the short length;-) and the untidy flow) Its just that no one else really does , what got me down to this.

I took the same route while coming back. I observed the lights were down a bit. It was a little late. Surprisingly the clan hadn't left the place. The teens were still there, joined by another one. The girl was still talking. I wondered why a bunch of restless teenagers would be so interested in listening to such stuff. Hmmm..maybe the philosophy was doing them good..maybe they are disciplined followers of the wise...Or maybe.. their unusually good looking teacher, was worth the preaching.
I suspect I knew the answer. And it wasn't a none of the above this time.

Beneath the skin

I was spitting venom today. Seriously evil. The poor female on the other side of the phone line was looking for her head I probably blew off the previous minute. Shot after the other, she kept the conversation rolling, pretty much all over her, and very much in the hope that the nice guy she was used to on this number would kick a snigger the next moment and say.."Aha! Fooled you".
Bad. Wasn't gonna happen today. Searching back though, I think she was simply doing her job, the call centre was paying her for. Sell the internet, be it a fire breathing monster.
I think about that day, and another few where I've let my carnivore whip blow out.. and the only similarity in most of the occassions, has been the fact that I wasn't a physical witness to the pounding and stomping I was delivering. There was always a safe, and a convinient wall between me and this other person feasting on fire. A smart cellphone kept me 10 digits away from them. That's huge. Big. This wall was allowing me to throw cannon balls at will and happily so. I felt better venting out my weekly accumulated frustration. Cheap. But then I wished they call up again the next week. Cheaper!

So what makes me so bold?.. I feel superior to my limits, stronger, adventurous, and a hardy of all my enterprising sorts. Maybe because I'm naturally introvert, and some odd moments bring out the not so me. Or perhaps I am that courageous hunk and all that. Or well maybe..and more importantly.. I'm hidden, a significant part of the from the heart talk , but with no face..I'm anonymous!
So what is it about a you can't see me conversation that merrily chokes off the shy guy, and brings out a person wearing a champion skin?!
I realize the reasoning is simple. Yes I might come up with a certain seed to the paramount, which might be different to what one may believe. But then it's eventually a version of many thoughts. The one word feeling which i propose for this behaviour is 'safe'. Whether it's that of being a customer, where you're the more important person, always, or a written piece where you have the luxury to play with your vocabulary. You are absolutely safe and well guarded. Because you're not there! No one can bloody do anything about your verbal and written actions, and you can get away happily without claiming responsibility for them. Tell me if you disagree.
The so very often similar events time and again raise a few questions though, to which I haven't found constant answers.
Is it right?
Isn't it spineless, cowardly?
Doesn't it have an uncomfortable air to it, which may lead to some unpleasant consequences?
I, like you, have my opinions, but none converging enough to stick out my finger and hold it against a specific answer to either of the questions. The tools of a writer or a speaker has a lot to do with the writer/speaker himself. A nameless, faceless has none of these prosaic tools. With a medium so promising and assuring, one can easily understand the weight of the freedom that comes along with having no identity. Certain people think it's completely unfair, and the act simply exposes a shaky personality. Could you balme them? A person might just extract more than that's acceptable at times. An unjustified use of the liberty one may call it. A simple example would be that of an anonymous 'let's kick some truth ass' blogger!
But then again at times, it could by all means, be the best way to sort out things, to give it a pleasant feel. We could list elections as a supportive instance.
Personally too .. I've always felt I've been more social and frank through my writing, or formal communication. I can honestly confess, I've found it a lot easier to communicate with a few people through texts or social sites. Much so, that I now realize a few of these people have recieved more messages from me, through my cell phone than me speaking out. Abnormal?..Well actually pretty confident of finding a clan, I think people can be super whacko on messangers and mobiles.. and equally crass in front. A few of you might save me blushes accepting the belief:D..
Anyhow, all of that quickly changes once you're back in your skin, and leave it exposing it to the person in front of you. You don't feel all that safe anymore. The super-powers suddenly vanish, and you're back to misery. My text friends would surely understand what I mean here.

So.. with my failed attempts at coming down to the point where I can call the idea of being anonymous right or wrong, I decided it's best left for interpretations and personal opinions. I feel it's got the most of it to do with one's intentions. It's in good ranks till it's meant to be on the right side of the spirit. But then again..some things just don't have a sealing verdict to them do they?
Lady: Hello sir, a very good afternoon to you.
Me(hidden & Happy): Hi.
Lady: Well sir, you sound relaxed today. Is this a good time?
Me(hidden & proud): Feeling better. Say..thanks for the connection set-up.
Lady: You're most welcome sir. Glad to be at your service. By the way, we have a new scheme..
Me(hidden & smart): Oh hey.. maybe some other time. Gotta rush. Have a flight to London!!..

Hmmm...

Elements of footprints

Forever is a very long time. So when my friend suggested a near about week long nature hike, my mind was sniffing that forever. Sooner or later, this marathon like week of slow sleeping, open calls, and mosquito romancing was gonna put locks to all my hopes of even giving it a thought.

I was standing, staring outside my window trying to recall the happy moments that surfaced in the recent eventless season. Nothing. Marooned, I punched the keys of my mobile-pad, a little excited about a raw plan I'd made during the exams. I had counted 10. Expected 6. Royally rewarded with 12 confirmations, I was happily surprised.

The plan was simple. A trek. A lot shorter version of what a few of my other friends had already planned. The twenty-twenty glitz of course, with theTests heading museums.

Honestly, given a general space, I could go on talking melody about the most evident beauty, the spring routes, teasing root holds, and the obvious thrill. But what really fascinates me on such occasions is the up-close interaction, and the colourful perceptions framed around these attributes. My understanding to a good day is kindergarten. Good friends, a good open-hearted talk, and some nice food to go along with it:D. It's also a fair oppertunity to get to know people better, and meet new ones. A void if you're keeping yourself in a box. So yes, a great oppertunity to declare the real you to your friends as well. 12 hours, and your opinions about certain things, perception on certain individuals is up for a toss. For good?..absolutely! And I talk prominently for people like me, who make assumptions, prefer keeping things to themselves, personal, and are a push to talk type. Where slow and steady is the key to a perfect recipe: Sugar spice, and everything nice:D.. Well, this is where it gets relishing all the more.

Now there are these funny little elements as I put 'em, which some way or the other become an absolute dose when you're out, spending some good informal time with the people you know, or you think you do. It's imperative, and a blessing for all you know. Silly games, stupid jokes, singing ridiculously infamous songs, remembering rather under the carpet events..some nice but most, embarassing. It's basically a span of happy hour god gives you to let yourself loose, no holds bar. These are the 'ICE BREAKERS'!..why, for a simple reason.. you make your interaction transparent, much so that you feel relieved and clean as air once you're back home.
You feel great, and why not. You'll learn that, to stay happy is not merely packing a smile on your face, but to make it evident, and impart the same on others. This of course after you've dealt with some serious weeds within, who says it's that easy to look happy anyways?!.. Well..a give away..thorns to living up these kodak moments are ironically within us, surfacing at will, fading when it wants, or if it even does. The obvious question is what they could be?.. my best guess..anything you do, that jolts a concerned look on everyones faces, and pulls up queries you have no answer to. It's indifferent to me on whatsoever occassion though. For good or bad, I honestly don't know. Personally, my best attempt to resolve any doubts is pretty today-like. A text. So the next day when a friend asks.."Hey why so formal?..All gentleman, SMS stuff?".. My response is nothing short of a puppy-face snarl. It's something I just don't know how to answer. Let's just say it's a straight-simple-silly way of coveying a genuine gratitude to the company I was a part of, and indirectly apologizing for any kind of mess I caused in their minds through my unexplainable acts, with all due respect to my random mood-swings, and glum look putting many to worry!
Anyways, trekking back to the down trail.. an additional advice is always to carry something back down with you. Could be a rock, flower, wooden stick, not an animal or an insect though, their life is way too short to cry over our misery, but anything else..something that you conviniently passed over, stepped on, or maybe even something your friend hit you with. I say this simply because(hang on, here comes the senti part) once time sways by and through, the only evidence you can feel is gonna be in your hand, and not on your desktop. Because where your camera will glue your eyes, this lifeless stick will moist them. Your choice of the venue is most irrelevant in such a case. Unknowingly but somehow, the company supersedes the motions around you. Hmmm.. a little too much eh.. well nevermind, let's just trust my instincts and believe we'll understand it better 10 years from now.

So.. buckle up. Fasten your backpacks, and race up one such trip .. You shall realize what starts off as a journey to feast on the nature's charm, indispensably becomes an unplugged memory to cherish with the nature as a mere catalyst.
Either ways, you shall have an amazing day..

cheers.

A Looser!

100th time. Or is it over? Yes gotta be. I love my sundays. And I love this channel for making my sundays go worth. I wanted to do this for a long time now. And pretty much fresh in my mind with what I want to talk about, I think it's about time I finally do.
This is a story.. A very realistic spin of a youth, Sanju..an underdog who saw both ends of the universe if there existed any. It's a story with a brilliant colour of human emotions, desires, self-realization and a gallon of spirit to overcome odds. More than anything else, it has a paint of reality throughout. A great fiction model to compare your life with.
The story is reeled, and starts with four notorious, and very close friends Ghote, Anjali, Maksood and our hero Sanju. The reckless but happy go lucky bunch showcase how a school life should truly be lived. Free, careless, spoilt, a pain in the back and the seed of all troubles..!!

They reflect a sense of innocence with their tickling acts and flaunt their 'look we have wings' attitude on whoever dared to tie up their laces. Sanju thought no one ever understood them. Not even their parents. He thought the world despised them, but didn't really care.Why should he?..He knew he was gonna make it big someday. He knew there was a great future but simply wanted to enjoy till then.

The circus was a season. And so while others claimed merit in academics, & brought laurels to their institution.. the cooler lot bunked, ate junk, and smoked all day, least bothered of shrugging off the tag of a 'Looser' off their sleeves.
The resemblance is uncanny..but then that's what most of the God-fathers and legends on books would tell you, how they started. It's a mere coincidence yes, but that's not my point.

Go on.. it's building up to something I promise.

Our lead has a sibling. A champion in his field. Good looking. A 'liked by all' fellow.. and mattering most of which..the seed of what brought a bitter taste to Sanjay's life. Like in most obvious cases.. a shade of competitive comparision was spilled on him. He loved his brother but hated the measuring eyes that stole the colours of his hair. He felt the pinch of partial treatment whether it was money, material, status or respect.

It's true when they say the world is a mirror, and it doesn't take long for one to realize what reflects is what you are. You respect the world, it reflects the same..You laugh..it laughs right back!

What we miss to realize at times though is the fact that the person in the mirror is none else but us. Complaining can never help.. We respect ourselves.. and it's a start.

But our little fellow here doesn't understand that yet. He's a teen afterall.. a teen who has friends, loves having fun, secretly smokes, laughs, feels jealous, and falls in love..

Oh?!.. I din't mention that earlier did I? ..Hmmm...

The story shows innocent little Sanju turn pink and hearts for a girl of his dreams. A superb plot covering the true shades of a teenager, who always believes that all the damsels around feed their time to only those who wear gold, and drive cars. And well so it happens that our clever bloke turns green and goggles, and with a bit of help from his friends... Viola!!.. Mr.millionaire successfully decieves the lady in red to fall for him.

It's just that morning spring touch that makes this teenage version of love so delicate. You remember your school days and recall the number of times you thought you're switching to dreams during day..and you'll know what I'm talking about. Anyhow.. it unfortunately turns out that the girl comes to know of the puppet show(though a khabri, another common teenage phenomenon) and plots a revenge against the cheater kiddo.

Sanju was taught a lesson.. and worse...was now heart-broken..

The clobbered spirit didn't get better..and he was dismissed by his father, and verbally crushed by his elder champion brother. It was not the best time for Sanju, and the first to notice this was his close friend..Anjali. Another point where I think the leaf turns up to show how you're true friends are always there to catch your fall..and how the doors of a new start keep opening for you..

Anjali, a poor next door girl secretly liked Sanju. Hmmm..the only part where I thought it got a little bit too filmy;)..and it was now time for this reality to hatch and blossom.

But...

As someone has rightly quoted.. All of a sudden, when something goes right for you..better pinch yourself to make sure you aren't dreaming. Our kid wasn't born with a lucky feather..and the fall continued in his life when his dear brother met with an accident. This was the point in Sanjay's life where he realized that it was now his time to put on the gloves. Life was demanding, and he could finally see that.

With a bleak foundation and a resolute attitude, our circle star stepped out to face the sun. All his play pleasure had crashed in a few days. A lot earlier than he had imagined. But he knew it was coming, and he knew this was it.
Guys this ain't an entertainment preview. Nor has it to do anything with a senti build-up. The idea was simply to share this very interesting tale of a young, looser-labelled boy, who throughout his life, did hardly anything right to please his family. His acts were never constructive, and the only thing he brought home was trouble. This bit is dedicated to all those people out there who believe there share in their work-dom is black and white. It's to those who think they run on the darker side of the line that divides rich from poor, good from bad, beautiful form ugly. It's to all the self..(or not) proclaimed 'loosers' in a bright community.

A wise voice will tell you.. life is not a race..so let the winning part be left for those who think it is. Winning is relative, and one can customize the standards to which he wants to compete for. You be the one who decides the race, and you decide if you've won it.

Let's make it a little more clear..

In the story, Sanjay's family wanted him to win the race. Anjali, who loved him the most wanted him to win his family back..But as for Sanju..he wanted to win everything he never had in the past. To him, it was his family..his friends..his pride... and respect.

So it's not just about a medal, or a cup..or even a race for the matter. Life goes happily beyond that. A person may be a champion throughout his life, but still a loner at no different time. Give him a friend..and he'll say he has won!

So....the next time when you see that reckless, irresponsible, and a good for nothing guy, laughing away to glory with no bloody sense of what's right and what's not.. remind yourself..

He's probably the one who'd help you when your friends back-off..

You might be the one who makes the circuit diagrams..but he's the one who colours them..

He is the one who sets up sparks in your static life..

He is the one who adds to the flavour and pulls up a breeze in a not so lively square..

And hey...never forget..he's also the one who has that Sanju inside him, sleeping...waiting for that flare to blaze his eyes open someday..and for all you know..he might be the one next in race with you!

So friends...walk on...And yes..if you think you're one of those 'loosers' we're talking about..carry it up your sleeve with utmost pride, and let that chin lead you.. Enjoy. Enjoy every bit of what you have. Cherish what you do, and what bit you achieve. Life is short, too short. Who knows..that Sanju in you......might just wake up today!!.....

The ReSuLT..

**I couldn't resist..I ran back..grabbed a page, and poured my memory on it..
* Click on the picture for a better view:)
5 Minutes back...
" Is baar serious lagta hai yaar"...
" Confirmed news hai.."
" A, B, aur C ko bhi sms aaya.."
" D top maara.."
After a month long wait, and a rumour packed summer, it was finally the day!
The result was finally out and people were smashing their their teeth to swallow. I could see the swarm of heated up human bodies burst through the door, ignoring a highly potential stampede. I, being a proud member of the looser clan( Go sanket:D), took my hibernation time, yawned, flexed my rusty muscles and strolled down, simply to witness what I would call one of the most amazing sights that only an engineering life could show me...
**

Love scrapps

SUBJECT: Synopsis Nirmaan 2007

INTRODUCTION:

How often do we wake up in the middle of a night discovering spirit foaming in desires..
The desire to get back to the world of mist which suddenly seems the only place closest to heaven..
That for you my friends..is LOVE!
It’s a hollow feeling they say… it hurts but not a plague…its worse if you ask one. For all it seems eternity is staring right through you.
Desire is a far-fetch, when a divine fantasy rules your thoughts.. and the soul starts taking the burden of guilt~…..
But why the remorse?!?..i mean true they claim poets are born at teens…its just the time when this sensational torment of fascination gets the better of ones control over self-senses & even LIFE in every sense of the word!!..
Long forgotten is ‘yesterday’..and even though god permits no more than what mother earth solicits for…the earth, all of a sudden seems million light years away.. and you’re all back face to face with the guilt of making that magic feeling a part of your life..
Complicated as it may sound… one's theory on this exquisite gift of cupid is always gonna fall short of its true meaning.

EXPECTED: Complete attendance of NIRMAAN 07’

REQUIREMENTS: BHAVANS GROUND.

EVENT DESCRIPTION:

Said that however…a FAIRYTALE can never bestow an explanation on what a love-struck victim could endure to suspend the grief…
Out of tons of these fictional opinions… what comes closest to an apt guidance is ‘EXPERIENCE’. This experience my friends can put you through all your regrets and remorse.
Against most odds… we are blessed to get a chance to witness two of the most prominent love-gurus who have lived through all that we can put together from our meager lives..
SANT-ANKIT SHAH & GURU-GURTEJ SINGH CHANDOK offer to make a presence, and enlighten the love-struck ones with their experiences and nobel opinion on this never-understood idea of truth.
Spreading his idea on love…Guru Ankit Shah comes from a rich history of relationships and is now a BIG shot professional in his field.
Accompanying him, and to pump in the notion of how to attract a gender(same and opposite alike) Guru-Gurtej comes from being an engineer-turned LUV-GURU…graduating from ‘The college of luvingeering” in the field of luvology!!
Skipping the 2 hr very special workshop would not be the wisest choice by any means…
So do join in… which promises to be the most sensational & breath-taking event in the HISTORY of NIRMAAN!!

Eventhough I can't recall the exact written date of this article, I figure it was somewhere around the middle of semester 1. Some of us guys decided to step it straight up in our very first experience with the college fest, and spread the noble thought of love:D.. Another couple further decided that it made perfect sense to send it as a synopsis because it made absolutely no sense to anyone, not even me. Let the literature kill the IEEE..Ha!
Obviously the synopsis wasn't approved, but we learnt the committee read it and headed for the himalayas. Hmmm..bad one:D. Anyways it turned out, the events were supposed to be technical, and the Head of Events suggested we pour it during the cultural fest SPACE. No kidding..
We were all shattered of course, but our endeavour was bookmarked forever. NIRMAAN was cursed now( dare challenge the messengers of love ).
It's just a matter of time now I tell you, when the murderers of love realize their disastrous deals. A matter of time, when our efforts would be recognized, and the zombies in love, in their pink pyjamas would rise, and hail the gurus, who shall shower their cupid on this pathetic world and make it a better and beautiful place to live.
Peace.
PS : I got this article from the earliest posts in our class community on orkut. Do go through yours. Highly recommended:). And like in most cases, it was our very own Sanket Godbole who advised me to put it up. Thanking him..
cheers..